Anyone else’s OH just not getting it?

I feel like I’m losing my mind. Sorry for the vent. My husband has turned out to be useless and no help at all with caring for our 4 week old. He doesn’t understand us working together in shifts, or at least refuses to - he wants to avoid us being ships in the night, but this leaves me getting no sleep, save the odd nap during the day. He is determined to sleep in the same room to ‘help’ during the night, but every night just falls into deep sleep, snoring and farting, then complains that I’m disturbing him when I get up in the night to feed. Our baby is on formula so he could help if he wanted. Despite my setting alarms to prep the bottles he doesn’t stir, and I cannot trust him to do a night shift solo as he wouldn’t wake. This happened last week when I left him in charge so I could get a couple of hours sleep - I woke to a screaming baby and a husband shouting at me to sort it. In the morning if it’s a week day he gets up and goes to work - he refuses to set an alarm for a slightly earlier wake up so I can either nap or shower for an hour to set me up for the day.I feel frazzled, and my parents have expressed concern and offered to either have my mum move in to support me, or for me to head over to theirs for a break. Husband of course is dead against both ideas! I feel lost. In my opinion if husband wants to go down a traditional dynamic here (mum in charge of baby), then I want my mum here to help me. Am I being unreasonable?

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No, you are not! What did he think becoming a parent entailed?! If he doesn't want to pull his weight, he then shouldn't also say he doesn't want help from your mum! Can't have his cake and eat it too! Some men, are honestly pathetic.

Not being unreasonable at all! If he’s not willing to adjust to help, then you need to do that’s best for you!! Get your mum in - and get her to help! That might encourage him to do better and hopefully realise the error of his ways!!

Good luck xx

Absolutely not unreasonable, especially if baby is bottle fed! I would 1000% get my mum in, like Phillips said, If he hates it that much, he will pull his finger out. Honestly, men and their outdated ideas that mum does everything whilst Absolutely nothing changes for me drives me wild. Look after yourself mamma!

I would go to your parents you need to rest too otherwise you will struggle my partner is a deep sleeper with my first he was the same with sleeping but with out second he will sit up with me xx

Mines the same, great in the day useless at night and then moans to everyone that he’s had hardly any sleep even though I’ve sat and listened to his snors all night whilst feeding our baby boy. He has to get up early for work so I don’t expect much from him but I legit get nothing. I feel like punching him in the face some days 😡 however he is a really good dad after work in the evenings

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

Help

My LO every feed. Drs don’t seem to think it’s a problem the whole Muslim cloth gets soaked so much I’m using towels now. I’ve tried size O teats he gets really frustrated and still spills it out :(

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

Of these two, which seems more overall “demanding” to you, overall? Lighthearted poll, not putting anyone down 🫶🏼

As a mum who breastfed for 3 years, I think formula feeding seems 100x harder and more demanding. I give those mamas all the credit because I could not keep up with that faff haha. I truly don’t understand why people say breastfeeding is more effort, other than the fact that no one else can do it. But personally I’d take that over endless bottle prep & cleaning.

Is this normal?

My 12m old is really funny with kids going near him, he’s always been this way, but anytime family’s kids sit next to him or head his way he moans or cries and moves away. He also really observes them and is never really relaxed, always looking over his shoulder. Has anyone experienced this? (He’s starting nursery properly tomorrow so hoping this helps) but is this normal?