Any other married single mums!

I feel like a single parent just happen to have a husband in the house I have to cook for and clean up after. My little one is three months old. I am on mat leave and my husband works. My little girl sleeps through the night but during the day will only do contact naps so I can’t really get any housework done. At the beginning, my husband would do a contact nap with her in the evening so I could get stuff done. Then he started just passing her back to me after ten mins so I couldn’t get anything done, but he would take her up and do the bedtime routine so that I could get stuff done. Now suddenly he goes to bed at 9, leaving me to put her to bed and then get things done. I finally get into bed around two, fall asleep around 4 and then she’s up for a bottle at 6/7. I’m so exhausted I’m scared I’m going to burn out. He was so hands on in the beginning but now it seems he only shows interest in doing things when we’re out and about or with friends or family, like he wants to show off that he’s a good dad. I don’t even know the point of this post- it’s not going to change. If I mention how I feel he will just get upset. Just feel like I needed to get it off my chest.

in our community

circumcision

are we circumcising our boys? or leaving that to dad?

Should I be concerned or am I overthinking?

My little boy is 15 months old, he’s recently taken his first steps and he says mamma and dadda and baba (he has said these for months) we’ve filled out the paperwork for his 12-14 month review and it looks like he isn’t meeting many of his milestones.

He doesn’t copy actions, point, clap etc. He doesn’t react when being spoken to, or to his name. He actively avoids eye contact.

He was so unresponsive to sound that we just had his hearing tested concerned he was deaf. They found that he could hear so he is just choosing not to react to any noises or sounds.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with their little ones? Should I be raising this with the health visitor and ask to be assessed for neurodivergent issue or a social communication problem like autism?

I don’t want to just slap a label on him, but I do feel that there are real concerns. All opinions welcome!!

Routines?

When did you start to introduce your baby’s routine? Do they just have a night routine or full day routine? Wondering when I should start this e.g naps at the same time everyday.

Any routines you have that work for you, please let me know them with timestamps. my baby is 6 weeks and just wondering when we should start them?

Does anyone else’s baby spit up breastmilk but not formula?

I’m seriously considering seeing a lactation consultant because I don’t understand why he can’t hold down breastmilk but can formula. I use soy formula since I’ve used it with my daughter and I’m thinking it might be due to not getting milk coming in for a few days so I had no choice but to give him formula, but now even if I take breaks in between feeding him breastmilk to burp or try to mix breastmilk and formula, he spits it up sooo much. I’m ready to just give him just formula because I’m worried about him not eating enough

Reflux

I need some help my baby is 6 weeks old and recently when I try and wind him after his bottle he’s not bring any wind up and just keeps being sick, I’ve tried infacol but that doesn’t seem to be doing much.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.