Fiancés family posting about my labor and delivery without my consent

I went into labor at 1am feb 4th and gave birth 8:50 Feb 5th. I hadn’t had a chance to tell my own family other than my mother that I was in labor and having my baby (she was there with me in the room when I delivered). My fiancé told his mom (who lives in another state) and his dad and sister (who live in the same state and we’re present at the hospital). His mom posted that I was in labor on Facebook without my consent. As soon as I had my son his sister, father, and mother had posted all about him on Facebook including photos of me in labor (most of which I was unaware of) all over Facebook. My fiancé says he doesn’t understand why I’m upset as they’re just happy to meet their grandson/nephew. He says they shouldn’t have posted pictures of me in active labor without consent but doesn’t understand why I’m mad they posted about my son. I tell him I feel like I was robbed of welcoming my son because I was the last one to post about him and I was the one who had to go through 33 hours of labor and nearly bleeding out to deliver my first child. He doesn’t think I have a reason to be upset. Thoughts?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Stand your ground. Also I would set boundaries with his family, i don’t know what it is about the dads side but they love to push boundaries🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

You 100% have a reason to be upset. This isn't acceptable in any way. I would share your feelings about how this is your moment with your baby, who you have grown, and done the hard work of delivering. And that they had no right to infringe on that special moment, no matter how excited and happy they must be. I would also take it as an opportunity to lay down the rules of what is going to be acceptable to you with regard to social media going forward - what you will and will not allow for the sake of your child's privacy. All the best x

You have every right to be upset! My husband and I are very private when it comes to social media and his family is not. When we got married his family posted everything online before we even finished the cake or our dance. We had specifically asked people to not take photos and to post anything till after we had. We couldn't afford to pay for more than 20 people at the wedding and we both have big families so this caused lots of issues on both sides. Then the posting of the pictures on social media caused more issues. We knew that with the birth of our child, this was not going to happen again so we didn't tell anyone till the baby was born. We didn't share any pictures with anyone till we were ready to. Even at family gatherings we still have to remind people that if we or our child is in the pictures then they need to ask before posting them online. Yes, my daughter is beautiful and I want to share her with the world but you just don't know these days what others might do with these photos or information.

Sorry I don't mean to sound rude in any way but I wouldn't be upset. Of course I wouldn't have liked the labor photo but otherwise it's clear they were just super excited to meet your baby. If it was upsetting for you I would just talk to them in case there is a next time so it doesn't upset you again. Just tell them you appreciate their excitement and happiness but you'd like to share first. You could also tell them to delete the photo of labor as you don't feel comfortable about that part. Good luck 😊

That’s so messed up. They had literally ZERO right to do that to you and your fiancé is dumb as hell for that. I bet he’s actually a really sweet guy, but even my orange cat of a husband (orange cats collectively share one braincell, or so the joke goes on the internet) was speechless when I read your post to him. Literally, my man’s eyes got wide and he blinked in shock. Yknow, that “Holy shit that’s messed up” kind of shocked blinking. If your fiancé doesnt truly understand why you’re upset, then I think you need to have a serious talk with him and set your foot down hard. And then do the same with his family. It’s okay for them to be excited and want to share the news. What’s NOT okay is taking non consensual photos of you, in active labor or not, and posting photos of your newborn baby to FACEBOOK of all places! WITHOUT consent!

Consent isn’t just for romantic relationships! It’s for EVERY kind of relationship.

Thank you for making me not feel crazy for having the feeling I’m having. Of course I’m beyond happy my son is surrounded by love but I honestly just wasn’t ready to post him to the world. (Especially since my fiancé and I are not very active on social medias anyways. I’m tagged in more photos than I’ve ever posted.) and was shocked when I finally got on my phone and saw I had pages of Facebook notifications. And my son wasn’t even 2 hours old yet.

in our community

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My friend is over from another country but I don't feel like leaving the house

One of my old friend's is visiting where I currently live and we agreed to meet up today but I feel so tired and exhausted from everything that's been going on with me. I feel if I meet her I'm going to end up having another breakdown from the exhaustion which I have been having often. I'm just thinking about how I need to rest to be able to deal with my toddler and go back to work on Monday without feeling like I need another weekend. I'm torn on what to do so I need you guys to help me decide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Weaning

Hello mamas,could I get some advice please with how and what to wean as started this week with my baby but not really what to give and when what time day. Have started with puree vegetables and making them myself and offering it in the evening to my baby but she tends to get irritated and tired and has a few spoonfulls and then gives up and has a meltdown. So I’m questioning myself am I feeding her wrong time of day and what’s best to mix the food with milk or baby rice please.

Do I need to pay anything when my child starts school in September

I'm a new mum and obviously didn't grow up in the uk. I currently pay roughly £640 for nursery fees. I'm wondering if my expenses will reduce when my LO starts school or there'll be other expenses (besides bags, uniform etc) will my expenses be anywhere close to £600 monthly?

People telling you your baby is hungry..

I know people don’t always mean it in a bad way and are trying to relate, but when people say my baby is hungry when chewing his hands. I feed him regularly. He eats pretty much every 2 hours. He isn’t hungry, he just loves chewing and exploring his hands. Or they say something about teething, which it is also not, as he isn’t unsettled with it. I have looked into it myself and can be common and neither of those things! He has done it most of the day since 2 months old.