Advice please 🙃

My daughter has been attending nursery since June she is 2 years and 5 months old. Nursery often write up observations on how she is doing etc and it seems every observation she has there is like 1 nice/positive comment and the rest are full of negatives for example “doesn’t interact with other children or share”, “would rather be around the nursery staff or play with the toys”, “doesn’t join in with adult-led activities” “doesn’t like to wash her hands after messy play or eating, has to watch the staff do it first to encourage her”, “when going outside to play can’t find her shoes or coat in the cloak room” “can say simple words and sentences” .. now I’m not saying my toddler is a genius but I can definitely say her speech is incredible, I can have a full conversation with her and have always thought she was advanced with her speech … I feel like nursery are putting her down all the time or she’s being picked on as silly as it sounds?🙃

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Ok children act totally different at home and childcare settings
My little girl is so confident and chews everyone’s ear off and has done since about 18 months
However it’s only been the last couple of months she’s done it at the childminders 🤣

They’re not negatives - they’re observations! And they need to log them which I get is rubbish but it is just that a snapshot at that moment

It takes some kids a little longer to join in etc x

Amy is correct but I'd also like to add that my own child is fairly similar. He doesn't interact with others of his own age, only adults. We figured out it is because he doesn't see his older brother until weekends so this has inadvertently had him connect with adults rather than those his own age despite all the groups we previously attended.
We've also found out (very common) children are different in different settings, such as home and school.
My boy still needs assistance finding his coat and shoes (he's been in his setting since around October 5 days per week for morning sessions only) despite knowing where they are at home. Many other things I can think of too, he's different when here and at school. He absolutely hates sudden change. BUT if the setting is truly worried, they'd discuss this with you to try get some help. For the reports, it's observations but it's still early days and every child develops and adjusts differently.

Thank you girls. I completely understand what you’re saying. I guess I am just a bit overwhelmed with reading all the things she needs to work on and just 1 positive thing, it seems to be the same thing every observation… x

We left a nursery because of this. I find it really unhelpful commenting to this extent. I get that they are looking for additional needs but since if the comments are really unnecessary. It used to upset me at much but leaving was the best decision I made. The precum we are at now are always positive or sensitive about any issues and have been so helpful when our new baby arrived and our son found it tricky. You need to be somewhere that makes you both feel happy and supported so don't stay if it's upsetting you xx

That does seem like a negative way to do observations. Ours are more tags of things they have done and can do… and they have a score. So ‘secure’ means she is good in that area and so on. So if she needs to work on something the score will be ‘basic skill level.’ Lets you know what they need to work on without it being negative!

But i guess that’s just how that setting does it. Definitely isn’t a put down. But i completely get why it would bum you out.

And they will just chat to you or email with anything specific

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

This might rattle some people

Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

Help

My LO every feed. Drs don’t seem to think it’s a problem the whole Muslim cloth gets soaked so much I’m using towels now. I’ve tried size O teats he gets really frustrated and still spills it out :(

Of these two, which seems more overall “demanding” to you, overall? Lighthearted poll, not putting anyone down 🫶🏼

As a mum who breastfed for 3 years, I think formula feeding seems 100x harder and more demanding. I give those mamas all the credit because I could not keep up with that faff haha. I truly don’t understand why people say breastfeeding is more effort, other than the fact that no one else can do it. But personally I’d take that over endless bottle prep & cleaning.