MIL wants me to call her mother

Call her by her first name!

I'm pretty straightforward and do the awkward convos. Even if she keeps pressing it after the awkward convo, at least you said what you need to say. Maybe then your partner could step in and tell her to back off, no means no.

Had this same thing, I didn’t like it because it felt like using the term mum devalued what my own mother had done and the important role she plays in my life….. so stretching it to people you barely know is way to much. Is there another language in play, like can you call mil mum in her own native language, so it doesn’t have the same meaning for you and your real mother. But if that doesn’t feel right for you either then that’s fine, it’s up to you and you have valid reasons. So mil needs to learn to listen and compromise this time!

My husbands grandma wanted me to call her grandma, but that areas always weird to me because I was so close with my grandparents. So I call her aunt instead. If it was me, I would get my husband to explain the reasons why I didn’t want to call her mom and ask for an alternative.

My mil wants me to call her mum as well and I had the same reservations as you. My take is that I didn’t come out of her vagina and so she does not deserve that title. Also, I would feel pretty terrible if my children would call someone else mum so how can I do that to my mum?! A bond between mother and child is special and so this is not a term I throw around lightly. I find it pretty narcissistic to be honest to demand to be called mother. If I were you I would nip this in the butt by a conversation.. she is not your mum and you don’t feel comfortable calling her that. If she can’t respect that than that’s her issue.

Same here!! I am brazilian and we either call them Tia or Sogra. When this conversation happened I immediately politely declined and just kept calling her by her name.

Can you call her by a nickname instead? My mom used to call my stepdad's mom Ama.

Oh! This is all so true for me as well!! She caught me off guard when she told me she wanted me to call her mum about 2 years ago. It’s a cultural thing for her, but it really isn’t for me. I had a chat with my husband and told him why I couldn’t do it, but simply… she isn’t my mum, nor will she ever be. My mum is still alive and very present in our lives, so she will always be MIL. I call her by her real name and hubby ended up having a chat to her about it coz I found so many conversations awkward. Now we have our daughter I refer to her as “nanny” as much as I can and start the conversation off through our daughter- not ideal but she made it that way

Thank God my MIL wants me call her nothing... she never wanted my child from previous marriage to call her grandma but i was pregnant by jet son ....when she became an actual grandma by Me carrying her first grand kid.. then she wanted to be called grandma....so she told my kid to call her by nick name instead...I used that nick name .. until now and after giving back to back grandkids to her ,I refer to her by her real name when i speak to my little ones...I don't call her anything though. She not a kind woman or mother or granny . rude and inconsiderate .. imagine having 1 kid out of 4 being left out because he's not biological . Other wise she be an aunt for us. And I never liked calling in laws dad and mom is so. Weird and bizarre. She not my mother , you ain't my daddy and if that true then I'm married to your son who's my *brother*??? Gross concept..I get it, it's by law mother cause she a * mom* and we respect it as mother etc but seriously.. they were so lazy for history to put diff title

Ps curiosity... if you want share what's her culture? I never heard of every friend and sister as mum?? And for you guys is aunt? What culture is that...I only know white/ western/ Hollywood culture love saying mom and dad.. even though they didn't raise you... OK actually other cultures lik India reguons I hear also

My BIL wife (SIL via marriage) calls our MIL and FIL mum and dad! It’s so weird, especially when she still has her mum and dad in her life! Also before FIL passed away he kept saying I could call them mum and dad but I just couldn’t do it! When we are out with the whole family obviously bil says mum but then if she says mum, I always think strangers will think brother and sister got married and had kids! I just can’t call her mum when she’s not my mum! Plus I’m very close to my mum and feel it would be an insult to her!

What is wrong with some people. I'm guessing it's a culture thing I don't understand? Please assert yourself and continue to repeat why you're not comfortable with it x

I’m petty so I would call her Memaw all day. My mother would be FURIOUS. She doesn’t want me calling ANYONE else mom 😂 I respect her wishes

In my culture we call our mum in law and father in law mum/dad, but I never liked that, thankfully my in laws are the same and prefer to be called by their names🤣

I would discuss this with your partner. Come to an agreement and have him explain it to her crazy self. She is being ridiculous.