“Let them cry”

I have a 1 month old, almost 2 months and the worst phrase you can tell me is “just let him cry” simply because there are moments where my baby sits peacefully in silence WIDE AWAKE and I know for myself he’s not “just crying to cry”. I’m by myself throughout the week and his dad comes home on the weekends - I should not be hearing my baby scream to the top of his lungs while I’m sleep! I feel like you already traumatizing him. He’s a newborn - not a 2 year old that’s just throwing a tantrum. I personally feel that’s just you being lazy and not wanting to tend to him and that’s not fair to him nor me.

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Nope, crying at this age is because they have a need to be changed, fed or comforted, I pick the. Up and provide

They definitely only cry at this stage because they genuinely need something. Picking them up and tending to them never spoils them that's not a thing so keep tending to them when they cry xx

see, this why I love this app - I be needing motherly feedback 😭

I think it really depends. I can only hope they don't mean wailing when people say this. In my opinion theres only two reasons to let a baby cry: when you have to set them down while you figure out or prepare means to fulfill their need, or when they wake up and make a crying sound for a little before going back to sleep. It would break my heart to try and let my child cry himself to sleep fully and I feel horrible for moms with colicky babies who don't have the choice to just fix it

absolutely agree to this a little cry when you need to set them down to get what they need or for you to use the toilet etc is absolutely fine as you're coming back to them but people who say let them cry it out and let them cry for 10+ mins I just think are creating severe psychological damage in the long run as yes they'll learn to settle as they'll learn noone cares to come to them

Considering babies crying is the main communication method, it’s a shame people still believe it’s okay to just “cry it out” when all that does is mentally traumatize them and cause developmental issues long term. There’s a difference between letting them cry for a few minutes to see if they self settle after all needs are met and letting them cry because a parent can’t be bothered to do anything about it. It’s why I’ll be baby wearing wherever I go and making sure my LG doesn’t “cry it out” ever

My friends LG is about 16 months or so and because she’s teething so much she only wants to be with her mom mostly and especially if she’s over tired from being up for 5+hours. At that point letting her be with her mom is the only way to prevent the tears and with the teething no one wants scream to comforting the baby matters most

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?