Found my husband's Reddit account... Wish I hadn't.

We've been married for 8 years and have 4 kids together and it's been rocky. He's done a lot of things to make me not trust him. (Lying about where he's at and coming home drunk, spending money we don't have on OF content while we're about to have electricity shut off, texting a "friend" from another state and lying about it, and being grabby with his phone in general.) Every time I've confronted him for these things its a big blow up, he gets defensive and angry and takes his ring off and goes and gets wasted. The last few years I thought things have gotten better and I just let stuff slide from the past. A few weeks ago his phone broke and he got a new one. He got WEIRD about the old phone. He tossed it in a drawer that weekend. Well I took the following Monday off work. He came home about an hour after he started work saying he needed another sweatshirt and he grabbed the old phone and shoved it in his pocket. When I asked him why he said he was throwing it away at work.... Um we have a garbage can at home. That really raised a flag for me. Fast forward to last weekend. We attended an event in which he got super drunk. He came home and dumped his pockets all over the hallway by the bathroom. So the next morning I was picking up all the crap and I set his phone on the counter and it showed an email notification. I said eff it, I'm looking (I know, I know privacy 🙄) it was from Reddit. I got his username and searched it on my account. I AM SHOCKED. I knew he has a porn addiction problem, but apparently it's trans women with penises..... He comments on them all, all day, saying what he would do. It's been 4 days and I don't know what to do. I'm shocked. We've always at least had a good sex life. We do it several times a week. It's decent. WHAT THE HELL? If any of his friends or family found out about this it would destroy him. I'm afraid to call him out, I don't know how he would react. I'm afraid he would hurt himself or me just to keep it a secret.... but I can see if hes active and what he comments and it makes me sick to my stomach. Any advice??? I've told one good friend just because if anything happens I want someone to know the full story. Right now I'm trying to act like every thing is normal and fine.

Show your support

I'd leave if you can

Sounds just like my EX husband. Girl, please leave and get out while you can. I promise you, he will not change. Good luck 💞

If you are concerned for your safety to the point of telling a friend I’m worried you are already unsafe. Please think about extracting yourself from this situation. You deserve far better than the lying and sneaking around.

It’s time to use that “normal and fine” time to make an exit plan. If you’re uncomfortable with his kink you aren’t obligated to keep being intimate with this man. He’s probably not even thinking about you when you two do sleep together.

Just leave. This guy can’t be trusted and is living a secret life at your expense

I know it can't go on like this forever. I can't leave, my mom owns the house we live in, so I'd have to toss him out. We still need to do taxes and we normally get a chunk back, and into my personal account because he's so awful about money. I want to play it cool until then at least. But should I tell him what I found when it comes down to it?? Because he'll want a reason.

Id get your taxes done and make sure its in your account before you say anything. If you end it do you think he will actually leave the house willingly? Unfortunately there are so many laws keeping tenants in place, it may take him forever to leave /be forced to leave. Also , what he did was beyond wrong but I want you to know that when faced with embarrassment people get defensive and extremely angry and possibly violent. If you don't intend on staying together it may be best to just tell him afterwards. He will probably make excuses. I would screen shot everything you see. Just for proof, it's not like it could be used in a court of law but you may want to keep it in case he tries to play dirty. I wish you look, this is an awful situation

Do you wanna stay married to a closet faggot or no? It’s that simple. Say it aloud, accept how it makes you feel and make a decision.

Also it sounds like he’s into men if he’s checking out trans with penises? Possibly bi or full on homosexual and hiding it idk I’d be too disturbed by that because I’d feel like I don’t even know the real you

@Incognito one or two were just straight up dick pics. 🫣 And that's exactly what I'm feeling.

I would leave him cause he won't change get you taxes and leave him or kick him out since the house is under your mom house

You don’t necessarily have to toss him out i wouldn’t do that to somebody either but I’d let them know it’s over and you’ve got till (date) to sort out new living arrangements elsewhere. If he asks for a reason I’d be completely honest and say I came across something which tbh I wish I hadn’t but I glad i did and tell him what you saw. He might try turn it on you and say “what was you looking at my phone for” or just outright try deny it/come out with silly excuses in a bid to stay with you like that wasnt him it’s a friend using his phone or something who knows but I wouldn’t entertain hearing him out I’d just say look it’s over I don’t want this rship continue and nothing you say will convince me otherwise x

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