How should I tell my in laws I’m pregnant??

So my husband has a child from a previous relationship. And for some reason his mother and sister have strong opinions on he and I having kids together. There is a LOT of issues with his baby momma and his family, I do my best to stay out of it unless it directly affects my step daughter. I have loved and cared for her since the day I met her; we hit it off right away. She wants a little brother or sister and has highly expressed how bad she wants to be a big sister. I’m so excited cause this is my first pregnancy but I just don’t know how to tell his family when I know how they feel about us having kids. It completely breaks my heart that I feel like I have to hide it or that I can’t express how excited I am. Anytime I have ever mentioned having any kind of stomach bug his mother always shoots straight to pregnancy and how it isn’t a good idea for us. Now that I am pregnant I’m at a loss of how to tell them.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Huh? Why do his mum and sister get an opinion as to whether you have children or not? They absolutely don’t! Congrats that’s so exciting!

Take them to their favorite restaurant and do it they can’t be mad while eating one of their favorite foods and can’t have an outburst in public

Boundaries. If they’re not happy about it, they should be told that is not an appropriate response and it’s hurtful to you and your husband. You should be honest about how it’s unfair for your own excitement and plans for your family to be directly tied to the actions of another woman (his ex). Giving them the benefit of the doubt first and sharing the happy news with them as what it is— HAPPY. Then comes the direct communication of boundaries if they don’t react appropriately. (hopefully you won’t need this part).
Congrats, mama!

Congratulations! 🩷👣🩵

As someone who is spiritual, I just wouldn't tell them until I'm showing. I did this with my last pregnancy because I wanted only positive energy. I used to have this mantra I'd say, "Protect me and the baby from all intended and unintended negative manifestations." Because I, too, had in-law drama and felt some were not wishing the best for us.

That aside, my biggest advice is to truly ignore them. This is not about them. The focus is on you and the little family you're growing. How they act and respond determines how much, if any, access they have to said family. Announce it with as much joy as you want because that is what this is JOYOUS. If they can't be happy for you, they do not deserve your attention. Sending positive vibes to you and protective energy against all that negative energy you are having to cope with.

in our community

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments

Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

Identity crisis?

Am I the only sahm who feels like they have lost their identity??? I don’t make money for my family, when I used to make great money. But I refuse to drop my under a year old baby off with strangers.
My husband works so much. But I have no control over bringing in money and I’m a control freak type of person! I feel l like I’m losing my grip because we are kind of broke, but day care would only eat up my income anyways! So what’s the point. I’m a workaholic and now I’m just a twitching bum.
I wish I could work from home but so far that’s a fake dream. I’m almost 9 months pp, and I just need to know these awful mood swings and depression will end soon! Send wine!