Sibling Jealousy

Happy Friday everyone!

My daughter is 11, she seemed excited and nervous when we found out we were pregnant. I tried to include her throughout and reassure her having a sister wouldn't mean she was loved any less.

Baby girl is now here, born in January. A preemie that needed so much attention and extra care. My oldest is so jealous. She wants nothing to do with her baby sister. I try to include her in daily things like picking out an outfit and bath time. I don't ask the older kids to feed her or change or anything. When I talk to my oldest she says she doesn't like tiny humans and that she'll get more involved when baby is bigger and interacts more.

My son is 9. He's amazing with his little sister. He offers to help all the time and gives her hugs and snuggles. I thought he would be the jealous one. I'm surprised! Anyone else have this experience with the bigger age gap? Any advice is appreciated.

I want them to have a good relationship. I've tried so many things to show my oldest I understand her world was turned upside down but, she is just so negative. I'm not sure what else to do to help her.

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I was 11 when my sister was born, I don’t remember feeling jealous but my mom involved me a lot. I used to change diapers, dress and help feed. I do remember more when she was able to interact more with me (after 5 months). We have a great relationship now (I’m 31 and she’s 20), we FaceTime every day. If your daughter is saying she will be more involved when she’s older I think give it a few more months and she will hopefully come around! Also with the large age gap I did feel more like her mom than sister so it was frustrating at times because I felt responsible at a young age to take care of a child/babysat a lot

Is it that’s she’s jealous or could she be scared because the baby was premature, at 11 she would be old enough to realise that the baby was early and sometimes that can mean something went wrong. If she’s saying she doesn’t like tiny humans and will wait till baby is bigger it might be that she’s scared she’ll hurt baby on accident.

I'm reading a book called "siblings without rivalry". It'd suggest to acknowledge her jealousy and help her express it in a healthy way. Feelings aren't black and white: she can love and hate the baby at the same time, and our role as parents isn't to squash the bad feelings, but help them understand them and also recognize the good ones. You can't change how she feels, but help her through it. Best of luck. I'm sure it's an adjustment for everyone, your daughter included.

I echo what Samantha said. There are ten years between me and my sister w no sibling in between. I also ran away (down the street and left a note) when I found out 😆 🤣 My sister and I are very close 💗

I was 6 when my sister was born I wasn’t jealous of my sister I was more or less jealous that I wasn’t the only girl anymore (I have 2 brothers) and I wasn’t getting what I wanted and needed to share certain things my brothers didn’t really care because they were already sharing everything since they’re a year a part. But for me it was a shock and it took awhile for me to adjust to having a sister

She'll come around.. Sorry y'all are having this issue though, I can only imagine it being difficult and being hard on you to see your older child deal with jealousy of her baby sis.
But may I say that Is the cutest little baby girl ever!! 💕

in our community

Can someone pls help i keep making this post and nobody is responding

My boyfriend booked a trip for us to go to mexico for a week as my push present. I have severe anxiety leaving my 7 month old with my mom. I know she will be in good hands but she’s exclusively breast fed for the most part but accepts bottles just fine. i have all my pumping parts packed and will pump when baby normally eats but i don’t want baby to forget me or have latch issues when i return!! any mommas ever experience this?

Postpartum

I’m only 3 days postpartum (FTM) and already have extremely bad anxiety. I’m crying every night, as I think of another night of no sleep. My baby will not settle in his cot, he cries every moment we put him down unless in his chair rocker. So me and my partner are having to alternate after 3/4 hours of being awake with him downstairs. I’m trying everything to get him to settle. It’s a load of overwhelming stress. I’m 23, I was desperate for a baby and now I have one and feel completely useless. I miss it just being me and my partner.

When does it get better?

I was crying on the phone with the perinatal mental health team today and the lovely lady, bless her, kept assuring me that it gets better. I kept telling her I hope so because people have been saying that since having my LO and it just feels like it keeps getting worse. She assured me it gets better....

Night time routine

Heya, my 3 week old daughter is currently exclusively breastfed and I’m not pumping. Can anyone recommend the best way to share the load with my partner? At the moment I’m doing all the feeds/burbs/settling and my partner is sleeping through which obviously isn’t sustainable, I’m trying to work out the best way to get him involved. Any advice very much appreciated!

Rapid cool/ hot shot method

Sorry if this sound stupid but how are we doing the hot shot method?
Are we boiling the kettle and letting it cool a little before adding to hot flask? Then with the cool water do you boil the kettle and leave it to cool right down before putting into another flask?
My baby brain is fried trying to work out the easiest way!

Rant/WWYD

My sister (youngest, 24) has two kids, 4 & 1, and i (oldest, 30) just have my one who’s 6mo old right now, so i ask her for advice or call her to vent about things sometimes. Well im tired of her turning around and telling my other family members that I’m “losing my sh*t.” Literally have not lost my sh*t nor have i ever freaked out to her about my baby, i just call her to talk and tell her what stage my baby is in or talk through how im feeling, but she chooses to tell people that im like a complete nutcase or something which worries me that my family is going to start being judgmental about me as a mother or looking at me funny like I’m some fragile ticking time bomb.

What would you do in this situation? I’m already pretty much decided that I’ll stop telling her anything about my struggles, but I’m almost at the point where i feel like it should be confronted because she, of all people, should understand what I’m going through.