Jealous in-laws

I couldn't relate until I got to the "always come up with an excuse" and "just ignore her" parts. But having read those, I'm pretty sure we have the exact same in-laws. 🙃

It's infuriating, especially because mine are always trying to flip it around and post on Facebook acting like poor, spurned grandparents who are desperate to be around their grandchild, but being kept away by me and my husband. When in reality, they have zero interest in seeing her when it doesn't involve us coming to them and doing things their way. 🙄

This is two people who are clearly very insecure in themselves, jealous of a cashier saying hello to a child. That is such a huge red flag for emotional immaturity and toxicity. I wouldn’t want my child around that either.

You’ve given them ample opportunity to spend time with you and they make excuses or change plans to suit them. You’ve held out the olive branch, I’d now just stop asking to see them. If they are they bothered, they’ll reach out. But you’re under no obligation to say yes.

Organically Maddie on Instagram is amazing for all this sort of thing and can outline best ways to express your feelings to your in-laws.

Quite frankly making stuff up about you leaving your husband etc, is wild. And your family and friends aren’t taking time away from them, they don’t ‘own’ your daughter. Scary behaviour. I’d worry about the emotional blackmail they will clearly lay on your child as they grow up.

I’m sorry we are in the same boat I wish everyone could just be happy, nice and get along

10000% agree with you I don’t want them influencing my child at all. I make as little contact with them as I can. It’s horrible. My husband and I both agree on this and told them that we think it’s better to meet with them somewhere public and not at either of our houses. I’ll look up the instagram account!

Not my business but did you husband have a good childhood? This sounds like my mom. Expect she smokes A LOT OF WEED and I don't care about that really she's got good reasons to need it tbh but ALL MY SONS STUFF smells like it so your smoking inside around my child. Then her BF sent me a video of her shotgunning my 14 month old child with weed smoke. I lost it. Spent a night in jail and haven't seen or spoken to her since.

from what he tells me he did but if you ask his brother there’s a lot of hard feelings on that topic. I don’t blame you that’s unacceptable for your child and you.

I’m pretty sure we have the same in-laws🙃 my MIL accused me of being jealous of her after saying “will your dad still be around when the baby is born” then her husband chipped in and said “I’ll be the best grandad if not” for reference my dad has terminal cancer! Because we stuck up for ourselves and said we didn’t like it I was accused of being jealous of her 🤣 she’s also very jealous that we have booked a family holiday next year (bit on the expensive side, but we work damn hard for what we’ve got) she’s moaned to my fiancé that we are spending too much money 🤣🤣 they will not come and see our daughter but then claim they love her etc haven’t asked how she is in 2 months! And haven’t seen her since she was 8 weeks old, she’s nearly 5 months now! Yet when she was first born they were like omg omg a granddaughter now she’s growing up they ain’t bothered! So sorry you feel like this lovely. X

Knocking her out with medicine ummm… yeah defo do not allow them to have her! WTF is wrong with people 🫣 x

So they act like they want to spend loads of time with her a d get jealous of someone saying hello to her but then just want to neglect her?!
Is it the attention she gets that they are jel of?

I’m so sorry about your dad! Sounds like my in laws and yours would be best friends. Good for you for sticking up for yourself! I hope things get better for you too.

my reaction exactly! I even told them in that moment that I will not be drugging my child to make my life easier that’s not parenting that’s abuse. They were both shocked by my reaction and told me to calm down that they were “joking” but my husband and I know better than that. If they were so quick to suggest that I can’t imagine what they would do if we left them alone with her. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. At the time she was six months old.

they are jealous of any positive attention she gets and my daughter’s reaction to it. Like if she giggles at daddy they are like “we can get her to giggle to you’re not that special”. It’s outrageous. My aunt sent my daughter a teddy bear for her birthday and she loves it and plays with it often they were upset that she was playing with my aunts toy and not theirs when they visited. They want all the attention on them and about them. They finally come over and they sit in the corner and play on their phones. My daughter calls their names to play with them and they can’t be bothered then they wonder why when they do try to interact with my daughter she tends to walk away or is very hesitant to interact with them.