5 weeks PP and feeling detached

Feeling this way isn’t so rare or out of the ordinary; it happens to a fair amount of people. I second what Rachel said, bring it up to your doctor because you could be dealing with postpartum depression. After my daughter was born, I had PPD, but I didn’t realize it at the time…I didn’t realize until like a year or two later what had been going on. I wasn’t super interested in spending time with her and I isolated in my room a lot. I liked when I was able to get out of the house, even if it was just a trip to the grocery store. She was born in April 2020, so the craziness of the pandemic may have made it hard for me to know I was depressed. I’ve struggled with depression for about 25 years now so I usually know what it looks like for me. But you’re not alone!! Also it can take a while to bond with a baby. Nothing you’re feeling says anything negative about you, you’re just human. Sending hugs 🫂 🩵

Defo agree with what Rachel said! But also try not to overthink lack of anxiety too - it’s not necessarily a bad thing to not feel worried when you’re away from your baby if they’re with someone you trust 💖 some of that can also come from anxiety itself (like an unhealthy anxiety!) and it’s really important for you to take breaks as well it’s been a lifesaver for my mental health. Our bodies and minds and lives have gone through a completely monumental change so it’ll take time to adjust! But if my baby is with my mum or MIL then I feel totally fine and that’s okay too :)

If you have a good support system it makes a difference in how you feel away from your baby. I feel completely comfortable leaving her with my mom because I know my mom is amazing with her and will always respect my choices. We're going on a 4 day trip in April because of it. 💜

But it's completely not uncommon to not feel much if a connection with a newborn, even until months later when they start developing their own personality. I personally was a little like... "OK, so this is happening now, this is my life." I thought I was apathetic, but then I tried to imagine my life without her and realized how lonely it would be. So I feel better about it now.

I felt like that. It took a few months for me to build it. Probably because I had ppd , but once my hormones balanced out a bit and I got a routine down I felt like a “mom”

It’s not abnormal, you’re developing your relationship with your baby and developing into a mother.

I had a rough post partum with my first and actually had to stop breast feeding for my own mental health and to keep a healthy relationship between me and my baby.

I knew I had a baby to care for and I was not going to let the baby need for anything but I had a difficult time with the title “mother” for awhile.

I think I had PPD with where my brain was going. I’m happy I made the choices I did.

I don’t feel guilty when I leave my LB. Not because I feel detached from him but because I know he’s completely safe and well looked after with whomever I trust to watch him. I’m glad he gets to interact with other people than just me. It’s important to take you time now and again.

Do you feel detached from your little one or are you just confident in knowing who he’s with?

I thought I was going to struggle with feeling attached but I almost lost him and I think that really made me realise how much I loved him. X

I was so connected to my first and had such an amazing relationship and when my second came along, I lost connect with her and didn’t have any with my second. That’s when I knew something was wrong. I can describe it as knowing I love them, but not necessarily feeling it so to speak. I had to get my medicine changed to Zoloft and find a right dose for me to be able to function. I’d 100% talk to your OB or PCP and start getting a medicine. It helps so much I promise

I totally understand how you feel. I felt the same way when I had my daughter she’s 8 now but it was like yesterday.. I remember bringing her home thinking ok so now I have this little human too look after and for a few weeks it all didn’t seem real and I said to my mom I feel like she’s not mine as I had no instant connection with her it was so weird.. but believe me it’s not uncommon and you are not alone with this feeling .. I had baby blues a touch of post natal depression .. speak with your Gp if you feel any unwanted thoughts 💭 x😘

And just too say the love ❤️ grow naturally and now I love my daughter like nothing else on earth xx

I felt this way and was diagnosed with PPD. Discuss this with your doctor so if you do have any postpartum disorders you treat it early 🤍

I had the same feelings with my first, and had an immediate bond with my second. The difference? Antidepressants! I wasn't on them with my first, and was on them the whole pregnancy and after with my second. We just adjusted doses to make sure everything was safe for baby.

Definitely bring this up to your doctor. But! It could also mean nothing at all. It just takes time for some people to bond with their babies!

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. As you see, you’re not alone, and the advice being given is solid spot on.

It’s awesome that you feel safe enough with your family to leave baby and go do things for yourself too.

It’s important acknowledge, especially if this is your first child, that you just underwent a complete and utter transformation.

Adjust as you need and allow yourself grace.

They are a new person in your life, too.

If you want some ways to nurture your connection with your baby, you could try skin to skin cuddles, eye gazing, dancing with them, singing/reading to them, mimicking their sounds in a playful way, doing mommy and me yoga/fitness with them, telling them jokes, meditating/praying with them, walking with them in a baby carrier rather than a stroller...
Do things that make you laugh and smile and get your happy hormones flowing.

Always connect with your Dr about how you’re feeling, and what you’re doing to nurture a connection

I had this with my second. It was postpartum depression and anxiety. It got better. I still don't feel quite the same connection as I did with my first but it got better

Thank you everyone, I have been seeing a therapist for anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy, and she is encouraging me to give myself grace, but sometimes it feels supercicial. Im thankful for this group