Husbands friend joking about the ‘husband stitch’

I went out for lunch last weekend with my husband and his closest friend… While my husband was in the bathroom, myself and his friend were chatting about the pregnancy and birth. He mentioned something about tearing down there and I said something like it wouldn’t be ideal but can’t be helped sometimes etc. to which he responded by telling me that my husband had been saying he was going to ask for the husband stitch to make me feel ‘better’ (if you know what I mean).

I was so taken back because myself and my husband have spoken about the husband stitch previously and how horrible it is not given consent to a medical procedure for a man’s pleasure etc. and my husband 100% agreed and said if I was nervous of it happening he would advocate for me and make sure nothing like that happened.

Anyway, I asked his friend did he really say that or are you just trying to be funny and he got all awkward and wouldn’t confirm. As soon as my husband came back I confronted him and asked if it had been said and he said no he wouldn’t say that it’s horrible etc. and that his friend was the one to actually joke about it but he didn’t find it funny.

I just can’t help but feel so uncomfortable that it may or may not have been said, and whether my husband would have joked about that or not. I don’t know if I’m being sensitive but it’s really upset me regardless and although I can only take my husband’s word for it, I still feel upset that he could have said that.

I suppose I’m just wanting to vent or see if this has come up in convo with anyone else as it’s left me feeling insecure and also really put me off my husband’s friend.

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That's horrible! But they would not do that in the UK. If you're worried then definitely bring it up with your midwife.
I would be upset too

I thought that was the case and I even said to his friend it was illegal and not something to joke about. I know you can be stitched up incorrectly by accident but if it’s just for the purpose of men is so awful. It’s literally mutilation

Exactly - you can say what you want about NHS waiting times but they are definitely trustworthy

He sounds like he needs educating if he’s joking about being lose etc. defo bring this up with the midwife and write in the birth plan about not listening to him. X

That is an awful thing to joke about, be it your husband or his "friend" it's the kind of thing I would pull someone up on if they said anything like that! But as mentioned, it doesn't happen in the UK.
Also side note, I've actually been reading a lot lately about the benefits of natural healing and not being stitched up at all! Depending on the tear of course.

I actually cannot believe the friend had the audacity to discuss something so private with you, such as how you would be stitched and "feel" after birth, this is super disrespectful to both you and your partner and makes me think your partner was saying the truth and the other guy was just being super childish and inaproproate. Just for your peace of mind I would mention that to the midwife.

Also, whoever told these men this prodecure even benefits them, when in reality it is the exact opposite??? Is it some tiktok influencer? Jeez....

What the hell is the husband stitch??!!

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