Advice

Any mamas still living with their parents? or maybe had to move back in with their parents and having to constantly live up to their expectations of what you’re life should look like and inputs on how you should bring up your kid? Their house… their rules? You NEED to do this.. you gotta make time for this..

I am going through a moment where I am preparing to get things together for my kid and I (single mom) but things cost money and nothing happens over night.. NOTHING! But I am doing the best I can and with that some things slip under the rug when it comes to house chores cleaning, LO cleaning up toys after done with them, my car has toys and clothes all inside but one thing for sure i’m going to ALWAYS make sure my kid is healthy, happy and safe. Which means nothing is dirty there are just toys everywhere and clean laundry. I put my LO needs before mine. ALWAYS but in the eyes of my parents i’m not doing enough when in comes to the minor things. IMO they want me to be the parents they were raising my siblings and I growing up.. which is impossible for me to be.

I don’t really have any friends unfortunately (most of them dipped when I was pregnant) so i’m just kind of in a place where my parents are my only support system but they seem to think that i’m not doing things as I should or to their standards. I guess i’m just in need of advice because my focus right now is to get to a place where Im standing on my own feet with my LO. But when you have parents that always seem to keep moving the target of expectations it’s really hard to feel confident in your decisions.

I just need advice on ways to block this out and remain focused on what I have planned for myself and my LO because it’s already exhausting being a single mama. I still nap with my LO Because i’m just physically and mentally tired.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Hey mama I’m in the exact same boat ! I also have a little one and know how hard it can to deal with your parents input on every little single thing you do ! I also lost all my friends during pregnancy! And my family is all I have. If you even need someone to vent to or even just talk to hit me up ! Lots of love and remember it’s temporary🤍✨

Avatar

I’m not in that situation but I just want to say, you are doing a great job! Moms don’t hear that enough and when you have opinions coming at you all the time, we’re harder on ourselves than we should be. You’ll get where you want/need to be. It may take time but that’s okay.

Avatar

Hey mama. If you need to talk, hit me up. Sending love all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦 ❤️ everything's gonna be okay and work out

Avatar

I absoulutely get what your saying, but at the end of the day if youre LO is happy, healthy and youre doing your best, remember thats whats important! Its a hard time and wont be forever. I think sometimes our parents forget what it was like when we were this little and how hard it can be ( as a single mama who also still lives at home)

Avatar

I’m not a single mom, and I live in the house next to my parents. I totally relate to what you said.

I think that after our parents have done the job for over 18 years, it’s hard for them to see it any other way. It’s your kid, and your turn to be a mom. You’re doing great. Just keep loving that child and let that guide your heart.

You will come round right. Your parents need to let go. They need to support you… not the other way around.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

Avatar

6

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Avatar

2

7

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

Avatar

1

50

Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

Avatar

4

FTM

Hello,
FTM here. At what age do you stop applying cream on nappy area during nappy changes? My 2 year old boy isn’t toilet ready yet but uses both nappy pants/pull ups and regular diapers

Avatar

4

I live in a small 2 bedroom flat. How do I keep my home smelling nice?

Especially bedroom considering dirty laundry lives in there too. I do laundry once a week because I don’t use enough to do more frequent.
But I just want my room smelling nice and cosy.

The more natural the method the better ladies 😣
I open windows everyday. I don’t get enough sunlight for plants 😭

Avatar

14

Read more on Peanut