Recovery

I had a planned cesearean 15 days ago and I'm finding myself having so many questions but I'm so wary of bugging the GP. Most of my concerns are completely hypothetical so I feel like ringing the doctors is just ridiculous, but figured reaching out to other c section mums and seeing what's normal might help me feel better.
I found after day 4 I felt amazing, I started reducing my meds, going out, I even went to London at the weekend to watch Peter Kay as I felt up to it. In the last couple of days I've noticed more pain and discomfort, not internal, but like the skin...I think it's from the bruising which seems ro have come out a lot more recently. I'm scared I've not taken it easy enough and have caused damage (health visitor told me off for hoovering🤦‍♀️)
My midwife also said I could have a bath after 2 weeks but I feel like someone should check my scar first? I'm so scared that going in the bath will cause problems.
I'm so paranoid about my scar and send daily photos to my sister who's a midwife, there's no signs of infection but there is a small section that looks a bit 'gapey' compared to the rest.

If anyone could just send me some reassurance it would be greatly appreciated as it's really starting to upset me

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Definitely take it easy, that’s a lot to do just 4days pp and hoovering using more ab muscles than you realise. I reduced my meds far too quickly and found myself in more pain so definitely keep on top of those. I personally didn’t bath until all my scabs had come off because like you I didn’t want to cause any more damage or infection. As for your scar just keep checking it, I was too scared to look at mine so got my partner to check it every night to make sure it all looked good. I did have one part that started bleeding again when the midwife took my dressing off as it ripped a scab off with it but that healed well, it just has a little bump on that side now where there’s a bit of extra scar tissue

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Sorry my post wasn't that clear...I'm now 15 days post partum, I definitely didn't start doing that much at 4 days, I went to London at 10 days post partum. Xxx

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fair enough haha. I’d still probably take it easy. I don’t think I started doing much until around 2 weeks and even then it was only short walks etc

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I bathed 7 days PP and not had any issues. Just make sure you don’t use bubble bath or harsh products that might irritate the skin around your scar. I’ve been getting a bath with nothing in there it was nice to just soak in a hot bath with no bubbles anyway xx

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Your body will tell you when you’re doing too much, but I feel like when it does it’s already too late. It sounds like you have you have been over doing it. You’ve had major surgery. Even if you feel up to it, please rest for the sake of your body now and in the future.

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

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Hey,

Baby is getting slightly too heavy for his travel system now.

I was just wondering want strollers people recommended. Thank you

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Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

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