Family fighting over baby name

So my baby was born earlier this year, and I named her a first name that is new to the family, a middle name that’s my husband’s middle name/same meaning as my dad’s name, and we picked a new last name as a family to adopt. The reason for the new last name is that I wanted my maiden name and my husband wanted his birth name, so we decided we’d compromise and create a new family name together. I actually came up with the name, it’s his grandmother’s maiden name as that is who he was closest to, and because it has similarities to my maiden name—nobody carries the name anymore so we loved that we’d pick it up and own it together.

Well. Apparently it’s WWIII over my baby’s name. His family is irate that we changed our last name. His mother and sister are having a cow over it, every phone call is “well your sister is having a hard time with the name, well we just don’t understand it.” Meanwhile my own mother is like, “what the hell is wrong with these people, this baby has two names from your husband’s side and they’re pissed off because you didn’t choose the right names.” But that hurts me too because it’s a reminder that my mom is upset I gave my baby two names from my husband’s side and none from ours.

What do I do? I feel like we’re in a tug of war over my baby’s name where everyone has such strong opinions about what her name should have been. I mean she’s four months old?! Like we’re not changing it at this point?! I don’t know what they hope to accomplish by making us constantly feel like shit over this. It’s so rude and I’m so hurt. It’s really taking from my joy.

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Ouch, that’s rough. They are all being very selfish right now making this all about them. You have a newborn! Life is hard as is you don’t need this drama on top of it.

I think what you did with your family name is cool. I actually know another couple who also did that exact same thing!

That’s just a cool thing you did with your names. You need to just be stern with everyone to back the hell down, nothings changing so get over it!

Why didn't you just hyphenate and avoid all the drama

Why do they think they have a say in what you called your baby? Just tell them to get over it and the name stands. When I got pregnant I said from the start we were having no family names as I couldn't be arsed with any drama from either side.

They do not have a say with what you decide as parents for your baby. Don't let them feel they have a say in that and the drama will be done quickly

because we both have three syllable last names that are foreign and very difficult to pronounce and we love our baby too much to put that burden on her, or us for that matter.

thank you, this is very good advice, I think you’re both right we just need to tell them this is what it is, get on board or keep it to yourself.

I said the same and then got very emotional in pregnancy and oof, here I am I wishing I had just done three non-family names!! Thank you for your support.

thank you so much! We’re so excited about our new name. It’s been very disheartening to receive this response with a little one keeping us on our toes! It’s taking away from the experience ☹️

I am always amazed how people think they get a say beyond the parents. All advice from friends has been not to tell anyone about the names we like as people will chip in whether you want them too or not. I cannot imagine getting that bothered over someone else’s name- especially where care and thought has gone into it and shared.

Everyone would be upset if you used no family names too I’m sure. 🥴 I don’t get why people think they have a say in a name of a baby they didn’t create lmfao. I’m sorry people are being petty af.

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