Husband blaming me for everything baby related

I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😔 it sounds awful and you are absolutely not being unreasonable. If there are other negative things going on as well, it really does sound unbearable. I think the only way forward is therapy for you both (and him on his own to work on his anger issues and accepting that he’s now a father and life will never be just about him again) if you want to stay together or to leave him.

So sorry to hear this momma! Our life is so hard as it is and on top of that judgements coming from our partner is the last thing we wanted. I don’t really have any solution to your problem but just wanted to tell you that even moms who have kids who go to bed their own and in their own cot and all- also get judgements from their partners, if not about this.. then about something else. I have seen men don’t really understand the dynamics of parenting. They don’t understand one basic thing that not all kids are same and parents don’t do what they like to do, they do what works for the kid and makes them calm. My little suggestion for you would be, try to avoid keeping your bub with your husband when you go back to work and organise a nice daycare centre. By the looks of it- It doesn’t feel that you will be at peace at work if you leave your bub with him but a good daycare centre will be a great help for you and It can also help your bub learn self soothing while going for naps and all.

I’m so sorry.
It’s very similar to what I’m going through with my baby’s dad.
We are currently doing coucliling together but not sure if it’s even working.
He says all the same things that I’m not doing things right or being lazy and selfish while he sleeps the whole night and I’m bending my back backwards for our baby.
I wish there was something easier to say or do.
Everyone tells me to leave him and be a single mum but that just as daunting.
You have to do what’s best for you girl. What you want. And what you’re willing to try for the relationship if you still have the mental capability to do so.

You’re always welcome to message me on here to vent about anything. I understand what you’re going though.

Sorry hun that sounds awful.

Not similar fights but I fought allot with my husband and still do, my girl is now 2. I wish we did couples counselling sooner. I suggest doing therapy together and have a 3rd party help you and be your advocate. 💖

My husband does the same thing because his friends are all saying their kids are perfect and he believes them. I remind him that THEY aren't home, as they all work away, so how would they even know? He's honestly probably scared and maybe you guys can watch videos. Yes it's easier to feed them to sleep but when you're not there they will learn to just fall asleep being held and hugged or in a cot, maybe even try the cot mat on the floor of the room is safe. I cosleeps still at 2yo and my son sleeps at daycare fine. Took a few days though because he wasn't used to them. He can also walk them in the pram or a beach cart and they might sleep. Tell him everyone else he knows lies to try and look better. The amount of mom's lying about whatever, screen time, eating foods etc is pretty high

Your baby is completely normal and you are meeting her needs. He is feeling insecure and is projecting on to you. He doesn’t have the relationship with her as he likely hasn’t tried nearly hard enough to develop one. Not saying he would ever be able to match you as a mum.

Am going through the same with my family, am a single mum who had a radical hysterectomy in December was away for 10 days apparently my nieces had my little one sleeping in his own cot I came home and ruined it in one night, it's so easy for other people to judge one another without thinking first. As a FTM am doing my best to avoid the melt downs and screaming, am also protecting my mental wellbeing. If you feel this way now and returning to work is only going to make you more fearful or doubt your partners ability to care for your little one, but maybe she will take naps in her cot for him. Our little ones will behave differently for others. If you could afford day care I would 100 recommend this option but it sounds like you might be doing weekend work if your partner is caring for her on his days off. Having a baby changes the dynamic of a relationship it's about working as a team finding the middle ground before it's too late. You honestly need to discuss your feelings with him

Therapy is not always the best option either because it can later bring unwanted trauma or increase the risk of further blame tatics in a relationship. Speak up for yourself and find a common ground. Every baby is different every parent has a different way of parenting so what is best for your and little one. Good luck mummy and stay true to yourself.

I would recommend going to tressillian for a residential stay. I've just done that and it's incredible the difference. Baby has gone from waking 5 times a night for a BF to waking once and settling again. He will sleep by himself too.

You'll also get a break away from your husband which sounds like it might help you too.

You can self refer on their website. Even if it's a good distance away I would still stay to go and stay somewhere along the way if you have too. I can't recommend it enough.

Sounds like u want to and need to leave.. ur basically a single mum anyway if he doewnt do anything for bubs.

I still rock my 11month old to sleep..hubby did have lots of issues to start with when I first went back to work to one day I actually had to leave work because they both got so worked up trying to get her to sleep..
Do u breastfeed still? I was but I knew I was going back to work so I starring with getting her to take bottles..and would get hubby to feed her them then would get hubby to starr to try to get her to sleep( she would only sleep for me so when she got to worked up I just took over) its taken a couple of months but he know can do everything with her..

Side note..I did start bubs in daycare at 7months old and I actually think that helped heaps!

He sounds very immature our toddler was doing the same at 11 months and we tried Trisslians plan and it didn’t work so I paid for a sleep plan by Chantal cohens and my son started sleeping 12 hours a night he’s 22 months now and it still shocks me that he sleeps so well, was a tough two weeks and my partner slept on our sons bedroom floor for the first week of it coz my son could smell my breast milk if I was in there, but there are options with sleep training, hopefully your husband pulls his head in