MIL never checks on me?

To be honest I'd rather have this problem than what I deal with. She might not want to be overbearing now during your pregnancy especially with the complications, but has failed to communicate that, and thinks staying over to help after you give birth and the risk is over with is more helpful. Since your husband is in communication with her, I'd have him tell her you want privacy after giving birth and will set a date for a visit once you get your bearings, but staying over for an extended period is unnecessary. I don't know what the issue is with this generation and the communication problems- you have my sympathy because I have the opposite end of the spectrum for a MIL.

Ugh I had to deal with a similar thing, I feel your pain. No answers here, maybe she doesn’t know what to say or want to bother you, or thinks it’s more important to help & care when the baby’s here, or she had different unspoken expectations & there’s a lack of communication & maybe she feels it’s enough by asking your husband how you are, but it still sucks she wouldn’t check in with you directly!! I don’t get it. It hurts. Try sharing your feelings & expectations with your husband & see how things can be resolved before the baby’s here & things get worse or everyone’s more stressed.

My mother in law didn't and isn't involved with anything since I got married and had a child. Married 8 years. Only thing she asks for is pics, which i dont send bc if you dont want to be involved, i wont be wasting my time sending you pics. The answer is, they just don't care. They only care about their son and grandchildren. You are just his wife, not her family. Sad, but true and don't take it personally. Some people lack understanding of what a family is.

Doesn’t seem like she doing anything unusual from how your relationship has been going. One thing I have learned is putting expectations on people based how you would act is a recipe for disaster.

May be make effort to build a relationship. If you guys have never been close she may feel like this is normal . Your child will be related to her — although your married your not someone she is that familiar with

We have been close/not close (in some situations), tired multiple times to build the relationship too but nothing 🥺 but now it's like I'm trying to fix it and get nothing back.

My mother in law never checks on me or her 2 grandchildren 🤷🏽‍♀️ just leave her to it, if she don't want to know that's that but if she really cared she would message 🤷🏽‍♀️

I never message MIL 🤣🙈 but also she is concentrating on her new bf, she is trying to get he's money and marry him 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

I've also messaged her and said I would meet up with her, all she got to tell me is where .. nope nothing .. I didn't care about the buses (travel) but thought as she babysits for her niece it could be nice for both of them to get out of the house when she visits her sister 🏠 🤷🏽‍♀️

I feel for you. My MIL is the same and did not check on me except maybe a couple of messages here and there during my entire pregnancy. It was shocking to say the least because we had a fairly ok relationship and I have always gone out of my way to make her feel comfortable when she would stay with us. She does take some updates from my husband and insists on coming over when the baby is born but I have told my husband clearly that will not happen. She has to wait for a week or two before she can see the baby. I have processed this in my own way that she doesn’t really care about me, it is just the baby she probably cares about . Hurts less that way 😊

Your MIL acting this way makes you feel like a surrogate? Or is your husband acting distant too? Idk I don’t like attention on me or anything so to me this doesn’t feel like anything I’d have an issue with it definitely wouldn’t make me feel like a surrogate as it isn’t her child anyway. I try to keep an open mind too she may be going through her own struggles in life that you’re not aware of. I think the only thing that would get to me is when you had that scare with your kidney and we’re in the hospital. But maybe your partner has been filling her in so she can give you space?

I have experienced the exact same thing. Got on great since being pregnant she hasn’t once asked how I am, how scans have gone etc and has turned quite nasty towards me, making nasty comments. She likes every picture I post on social media except anything to do with my pregnancy, even though she views it. It’s so bizarre. She constantly makes it all about her being a grandma and what she wants when the baby arrives. My fiend says I’m not having a baby I’m having a grandchild 🤣 this sounds absolutely mental but I feel like there is a weird jealously from Mils of boys to their partners