I had a miscarriage and my immature mom won’t talk to me

I had an ultrasound today at 8w and turns out the babies heart isn’t beating anymore so tomorrow I’m scheduled for surgery (my 4th miscarriage) to remove the baby. I got home and as my mom is visiting us for a month she demanded that I tell her now what happened. I asked her politely that hey I don’t feel like talking right now I need a little time to relax, play with and appreciate my daughter and when I feel ready I’ll share. She started screaming at me how inconvenient this is for her and she demands to tell her now (my husband has already texted her the details on our way back so that she takes it easy on me). I was forced to tell her to leave me alone.
I mentioned that she lied to me promising that she won’t take my 2yo outside today but I saw her on the camera that they were out of 2h today. Then she started saying that she doesn’t appreciate that I treat her like a 2yo not letting her take my daughter outside at 1pm in 96F heat (feels like 105) and that she can do whatever she wants and who am I to tell her what to do. Had to explain it to her that I am her MOTHER and she has no right to do whatever she wants with my kid let alone give my 2yo a sun stroke as she doesn’t even give her a hat. I told her that I don’t trust her or her word anymore and yes I’ll treat her like a 2yo while she acts like one. When I gave birth last time I told my mom and asked her not to tell anyone till we announce it publicly. 2 sec later she made a fb post about what a proud grandma she is. Took my husband 10 min to convince me that she really did it as I couldn’t believe it. Her word has no weight to which she said “I guess I didn’t understand that this is so important”. I told her you told me “what type of person do you think I am of course I won’t tell anyone” and this shows that she understood the importance. She threw a tantrum, started screaming at me and now isn’t even talking to me.
I learned that my baby is dead, I have to have a surgery tomorrow and I’m dealing with this immature 50yo that can think only of herself. Idk what to do with her but honestly after all this I just want her gone.

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Kick her the fuck out. Seriously. She should be absolutely disgusted & ashamed of herself. Get your husband to tell her to leave so you can relax & grieve. Im so sorry you’re going through this.

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, with extra stress on top. If it was me I’d tell her to leave, she can either get a hotel or travel back to her own home. You don’t deserve this and you don’t have to keep the peace x

So sorry for your loss.
You really don't need this added stress and upset. She should be supporting you through this.
I know she's family but it doesn't mean you have to put up with being treated so badly.
I'd really reconsider her place in your life

If she didn’t travel 5000 miles to come visit us yes I would’ve kicked her out. Unfortunately I’ve signed a document stating that while she’s in the states to visit us I’m responsible for her shelter and her plane ticket can’t be changed to a sooner date. We’ve never really been close (my grandma raised me) and now she wanted to be a part of my daughter’s life but after this I don’t think this will be the case.
Now she’s angry that I asked my MIL to watch my daughter while I have the surgery as I can’t trust her and for example of why I pointed out that she let my daughter stick her fingers in the outside outlet for the grill (the holes are very big) and she was just looking at her. I screamed at her to stop her (I was way too far) so that she doesn’t get electrocuted and she kept looking at her…. Then she finally started calling her by name… god till a 2yo listens to instructions she will be a crisp just move her away.

She bought a 2l bottle of whiskey and starts drinking from 8am. I’m about to trash that bottle and she will throw a tantrum how I don’t let her drink in my house too but who the hell starts drinking at 8am while watching a kid.

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Idk if this is the norm or not…..

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