Need advice: I’m thinking about leaving my husband…

Im so sorry you're going through this. Definitely get yourself back on your feet before you go through with the divorce. NOTHING is more destructive to your children's lives and futures than a weak mother. My mother stayed with my abusive father for 30 years. She never worked. They are now divorced, she is 55 with no experience outside the house, no car, no home, and not a dime to her name. She expects us to take care of her, and now i'm a SAHM with two under two and have no way of supporting her. So think LONG-TERM. Think of what is best for your kids well into the future. It is so very brave of you to be thinking about divorce if you are truly unhappy. But you have such a huge responsibility to TAKE CARE OF YOU, so that you could be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You could do some couples counselling, but if you are sure about divorce, or even if you are not, it is not good to relay in a man, get yourself to work again, also it maybe make your partner to change, as he is probably tired, 10 hours a day is so much, and also he could think he can do whatever as he is the one holding the house, so making that equal could make him change, but if not, that's your answer.

What are the problems in your marriage?

Sometimes I wish my parents would divorce despite the fact that my mother would require a lot of financial support. I can see how miserable she’s been for years even though she pretends like everything is okay. I love my father, but I don’t like him (I hope that makes sense) and she deserves better than the terrible husband he’s been to her... But, I definitely don’t want to put my own children in a compromising position due to my lack of planning. Thank you for your advice and words of encouragement 🙏🏼

I understand that he’s probably very tired from work and stressed about being the sole financial provider, but I don’t think that should excuse some of his behavior. His job requires him to work 10-12 hour shifts, so he was already working those hours even when I was working full-time. Also, a few months ago, things got really bad and I expressed that I was considering divorce. That made him seek therapy for himself, which I was very proud of him to do so since he’s always been against that sort of thing. However, he only did 2 sessions before he quit and I was okay with that because I saw an immediate change in his behavior, but it didn’t last long. I’ve suggested couple’s therapy and he doesn’t seem receptive it. He says doesn’t like the idea of having someone else knowing about our personal issues and weighing in on our marriage.

I believe there is, but I haven’t looked into it because I’m still on the fence about divorce and I’ve been very tired/busy taking care of my babies (2 under 2).

I don’t want to disclose any details, so I’ll just say there’s little to no communication on his part, a lack of help and emotional support, no consideration for my wants/needs, lying about his whereabouts, drinking irresponsibly and acting aggressive/violent (luckily not toward me or our babies)…

Okay that's fair.

You need a plan. It needs to include where you will live, whether you will work (and if so, who will provide childcare), and how custody of the kids will be split. If he doesn't even want 50:50 custody, then you will get child support payments but unless you are living with family, you'll also need an income.

And, if you think he WILL fight you for custody, definitely do get legal advice before taking any steps