What’s the number one thing you dislike about being a SAHM?

I personally dislike being financially dependent on my husband and I dislike having to tell him about all my purchases.

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Cleaning every single day it’s never stops 😭

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Being isolated from other adults

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Not getting an actual break because my child sticks to me like Velcro lol thst and not getting everything I want done during the day

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I just put things on my credit card and he pays it off each month. I just don’t take the piss with my purchases and if something is over £50 I’ll ask him about it first. I also shop deals a lot.

The only thing I don’t like is feeling guilty that she’s wanted to sleep on me all day and I’ve only managed to do small things like a couple of loads of laundry and one of which is still sat in the washer. My husband has to commute to London once a week and on that day a family member comes to keep me company and enjoys baby snuggles while I catch up on housework.

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personally i really hate being bored at home missing my husband. he’s my bff and we do everything together so him going into the office 3days a week drives me crazy, i hate hybrid schedules 😫

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I dislike continuously being the primary carer even when my partner comes home and should be present in parenting.

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Feeling like I have to ask permission for the bare minimum (which my husband, every time, says I don't have to ask for lol) like "can I go pee real quick?" Or "can you solo watch her so I can wash these dishes?" Even though we are literally both hanging out with her... Since I'm alone with her for the majority of the time, I ALWAYS ask permission... But my husband always tells me to take as long as I want/need whenever I do anything. Bathroom, shower, dishes, cooking, going on a walk, reading alone, etc. Yet I do it all super fast and rush back 😩

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Is it weird that can’t really think of anything?😅

Like I get irritated by different things randomly but over arching there’s not like one thing I hate the most? Idk I feel like I hated working more than any of the crap I deal with as an SAHM.

Now at least if my boss annoys me I can put him in time out🤌🏼😂

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Having a cleaning lady only come twice a week rather than everyday of the week

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I hate having to depend on him financially . I hate being lonely and I really dislike being the primary care giver when my spouse get off work and home everything is up to me making sure kids is changed fed house is cleaned…. Being a SAHM is such a blessing but it gets really lonely

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This is all very rough to read. I'm currently a sahm who also wfh, but with my health, a toddler, and another LO on the way, we are looking at transitioning to my husband working while I take care of the kids and the house. The financial dependency scares the crap out of me.

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Like others said financial dependence

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Never getting any time for myself while my husband can and does do what he wants. Like I don’t get to pee by myself and I rarely if ever get to shower on my own. I feel like I have to “steal” time to do basic hygiene things. I’m never left alone because if one kid is with my husband the other is with me. Even when I get the baby down for a nap my toddler is immediately all over me. My toddler is a contact sleeper and 99% of the time will not sleep without me so I don’t even get downtime at night

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Not getting help when my husband til noon

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Lack of social life and being financially dependent

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this is probably my answer too I don't like being bored at home missing my husband five days a week. A routine made it easier for me but it's still hard.

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I'm stuck at home pregnant with HG and a toddler, and dad only comes home once a month or so . Not only do I have to ask to pay my phone bill, but it's literally only me and baby soon to be 2 babies.

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Same financially dependent

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I hate being the main caregiver, she’s with me all day so that’s all she’s used to and all she wants so no matter how much her dad plays with her the second I’m gone for 2 seconds she’s shouting for me

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Cleaning and and cooking lol

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Having Identity crisis. Being mom is my only Identity. I don't have any other Identity or purpose in life. People looking down on you.

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Man being a sahm mom is so hard. Lonely and we are all feeling almost the same. My inbox open to anyone of you get

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Hate depending my boyfriend for stuff cause I’m so use to doing everything by myself. It’s hard for me because I’m use to working and I can get things done without having to wait on somebody

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Being financially dependent is the worse. I feel like I have to ask to get something or to do something I want to do. I also just feel bad when spending money. And I feel like I can’t get him any gifts cause it’s his money but then he says how I never get him anything. I just absolutely hate being financially dependent. I wish I had a way to bring in some money while still being a sahm

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I don’t like being financially dependent for me. I feel like I have to ask or explain the things I do and spend money on. He’s never asked me to explain I just feel like I have to. I also miss my social life and getting out of the house to go to work.

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I hate being the primary caregiver even when my husband is home and when he asks me if I want him to do something like if I want him to change the baby’s diaper or if I want him to hold the baby. To me those are things you should just do without asking

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I used to be really worried about the financial dependency but what helps is my husband giving me a little chunk of money or “allowance” so I can make personal purchases and not feel like I have to to ask for everything.

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I’m bored to death half the time. I love my LB so much and he is happy and thriving. But the monotony of each day…. Meals, laundry, clean, playgrounds, playgroups, narrate everything, Sing the same songs, play the same games… argh It’s so boring.

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The only thing that i dislike about being a stay at home mom is no outside human interaction! I can’t stand it. I don’t have the problem of having to tell my husband what I’m spending and I’m so grateful for him! But i also hate not being able to pay for the bills as well.

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!!

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!!

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Not getting help with my husband until right before I have to start work. Sometimes he's sleeping. Sometimes he will get up early and leave as fast as possible and not come back until I have to start my shift. I work from home. If I worked outside of the home I would get fired because I rely on him for transportation because I was forced to be extremely behind on my vehicle registration. I don't leave the house. Last time I left the house was to go shopping and my husband said "you're not gonna be longer than 30 minutes right cuz I gotta leave". I was waking him up to watch baby while I went shopping. I came back (only got three days worth of food) and he was ASLEEP FOR 6 MORE HOURS. The 1 thing I hate about being a stay at home mom? Being a married yet still somehow alone stay at home mom who is also the breadwinner.

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The boredom

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Same!!! Second never having time to be myself or get a break to do the things i love

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love every moment of being home with baba but hate being financially dependent on him🙃

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There was one point where my husband lost his job and I had to work 40+ hours a week so we wouldn’t be broke and he watched the baby when I worked but the house was a mess and he barely even did anything. He would just put her in a bouncer or a swing and play video games all day when he could have done dishes, laundry, or any other cleaning thing but no I had to do ALL of the cleaning and immediately go into fully taking care of the baby once I got off work because he was “tired” ugh makes me sick.

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That I have lots of time for my own thoughts. I can't get outta my head sometimes. I feel extra anxious. Ugh

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Being Judging for staying home, no breaks

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I hate that to everyone else, I’m jobless and just a mom. My husband doesn’t think that way, but friends and family do.

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Honestly just feeling trapped. Being financially dependent 100% on my husband and feeling like the default parent/having the entirely of household chores on my plate. Definitely hard.

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Everyone thinks everyday is chill and easy. It's not lol

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@mariah this part though 💯

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Not being able to do anything on your own. There’s just no time to be yourself anymore

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I wish I had the energy to look at stocks. I've been out of touch since my son was born 😭

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Mines the same as yours. Then he asks you to help him budget and gets mad that you spend the money he makes (on bills and groceries)

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My husband will ask me to budget our stuff but still till this day won't give me bank statements or access to his accounts. And our "joint" account we got when I was 6 months pregnant has $2.26 in it. My $2.26 because I got tired of being the only one putting money in and him using the account for his $100+ Amazon prime subscriptions.

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My husband transfers $$ into my own account to pay for groceries and other house hold things including vehicles and kids. Maybe something like that would help?

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The amount of people who ask me when I'm going back to work.... 🥴 I do work! 👊

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I went back to work 4 days after giving birth. My husband still doesn't have a job. My son is 5 months old now. I. Working 50 hours a week.

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AMEN!! it’s insane how many people ask that!! At least at work I got a break and clocked out at the end of my shift! 😂 I agree with everyone’s stressor about money but my biggest complaint is never getting a break. Everything is my responsibility 24/7. My husband does a ton but I bear the mental load and it’s ultimately my responsibility.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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23

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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7

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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Cheating 😭

I cheated on my partner of 3 years the other day, our baby is nearly 2. I feel completely awful about it. It was not a planned thing, just an in the moment situation. No excuses or justification, it was wrong. He knows exactly what happened and it’s hurt him so bad. I really want to make it work with my partner and he does with me. We’re so young and in our early 20s. I’m just so worried things will go wrong. Has anyone else been able to make a relationship work after infidelity? 😭

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BLW Advice!

Did anyone else baby have a hard time with textures when it pertains to solids. My son is 9 months and he still only eats the food that is mashed or puree. Do you think this is a phase? Or does anyone have any tips?

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