Should I be concerned?
Going incognito because I don’t know if they on on here.
Anyways, I’m worried about my husbands best friend’s wife (We’ll name Z). They have 2 kids; a girl who is 20 months old (we’ll name A) and a boy who is 4 months old (we’ll name B). Here are my reasons. When A was maybe only a week old, Z shipped her off to her moms house because she was too tired and I had to come over and clean their house for them because it was a wreck after a few days. Like I’m talking couch cushions on their bedroom floor and trash everywhere. A has had Covid twice, an upper respiratory infection, and RSV all before a year old. They used a new formula like every other month (not because of money or supply issues) which upset A’s stomach a lot. A didn’t start making sounds (still doesn’t really) until about 16 months old and only says very limited sounds such as oo or dada. A has trouble with asking on her own. Z and her husband had left A in her crib alone for expended period of time (even though she was awake and trying to play); like from 5pm to 12am (we were over watching a game with them. During this time, B was only a few weeks old and was at Z’s mothers house because she needed time alone even though all she did was lay in bed and be on her phone. When Z had her first c-section, she didn’t follow instruction and ended up popping her stitches and getting them really infected which led to another surgery. Now I’ve noticed that B has a VERY flat head. We saw each other the other day and not once did she sit B up or play with him, he stayed laying down even when she wasn’t doing anything. There’s other minor things that have happened but nothing I can accurately describe in detail about. With her last c-section with B, she had her tubes tied. She’s very young also.
I guess I’m just worried if maybe she isn’t being a good mother or if CPS should get involved? I know it might be postpartum but she still goes out and drinks and hangs out with other people when gives her kids to other people to look after.
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This is a bit specific and very detailed. If "they" r on here, they're gonna know its them.
But from what I'm reading, u should report it. I don't know to who. But that is cause for concern. I really hope both A and B are up to date on dr visits. The flat head thing is definitely cause for concern. And it sounds like alot of milestones haven't been met yet. I know all kids grow at their own pace, but that's a bit delayed.
Instead of seeking for opinions on internet make anonymous call to ACS
Call cps immediately, that’s child neglect
Is this something you could bring up to her? Or maybe a close family member of hers and express that you are concerned for her mental health? Can you offer help? Or is your husband able to speak to his friend about it since they’re best friends?
One of my close friends who is an amazing, dedicated and cautious mom, her daughter had rsv and covid in the first two years of her life. I don’t think the child getting sick really is a fair judgement of their parenting. As for the formula, the baby is being fed… are they switching it to find what works for the baby? Although I don’t really think it’s anyone’s business what formula is being used other than the parents, even though you mean well!
The things that are more concerning in my opinion are the being left in the crib for extended periods of time while the child was awake and the head being very flat is a bit concerning but are you positive that this isn’t something they’re already addressing with their Dr?
I just don’t believe that cps will do anything based on what you’re describing. My cousin works for child services and there’s families that are far worse off, homes extremely dirty and they won’t really do anything still 😕 which means that addressing it with them directly or a close family member might bring change instead!
I can tell you mean well and you clearly care about the well being of the kids! I would just think about any possible steps that can be taken to help before taking more extreme measures ❤️
Edited to add:
Also, I’m curious to how the husband is reacting?? Cause I just went back and reread some of your post because the crib thing is really concerning. Was the baby awake the whole time like crying or screaming? And what did her husband have to say about leaving the baby alone like that?? That alone might be the only thing that would bring cps out!!
if they receive a call they must act on it so at least they’ll go in and assess the living conditions and well being of the kids.
yes! I definitely know how it all works 🥰
he mostly just watched the game and ignored her crying. She wasn’t necessarily bawling but she would have bouts of whining and trying to get their attention on their baby monitor.
I was asking because I didn’t know if I’m being overly catious or this is out of the ordinary.
Yeah if the baby was awake and in the crib for that long alone, that’s horrible 😢 it would be different if the baby was asleep and would wake up and cry out for a few only to go back to sleep. Also the fact that it’s BOTH parents since the husband didn’t do anything. That would make me think how long is that baby left alone to cry when no one is around?
Maybe she needs some guidance. I would try to offer advice before I would call CPS. You said she's really young, and that's no excuse for neglect, but we all start off with limited knowledge. Contacting child services could make the situation even worse. Invite her to a play date, plan a trip to the park, maybe all she needs is someone to get her out.
So from 5-12 no one took that baby out of the crib to feed? Change? No one there watching the game suggested it either? —it all sounds like neglectful parenting and 2 people who are not ready for kids and immature overall. Not sure how much cps would do here though. Poor babies.
This sounds like it is neglect and I feel so sorry for those poor babies especially leaving a crying baby awake in a crib for that long! I think definitely say something, I don’t think you’re being over cautious at all. I know the children are so so young but one day they would be so thankful someone noticed and said something
This is definitely child neglect. And the flat head is really concerning. So you say you were over and watching the game and you said nothing at all ?
Maybe she has PPD . I would probably try to talk to her ,or to the husband.find out what’s going on before involving cpc
You should try talking to her or have your husband talk to hers about all this.
Maybe they are both struggling with depression or just plan ole lost on how to be good parents.
If nothing changes after talking to them then I would make an anonymous call to CPS.
Also, I never would have not said or done anything if I was there and baby kept crying for an extended period of time…sorry, not sorry but I would of stepped in and got baby out of crib, asked when last changed, played with, fed, etc….
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