AITA?

Am I the butthole?

My husband and I just moved states and are currently living with my mom. My mom offered to take us and the boys all on vacation for a week. My husband stated that he didn’t want to take that much time off of work when he just started (two months ago). He has the time but didn’t want to miss work. I offered for him to come down just for the weekend but he refused that as well. He is now mad at me for still going and is gas lighting me because we went even though he said no. The children are having an absolute blast and I truly didn’t want them to miss the experience of going on vacation (which they never have) all because he didn’t want to take the time off work. So tell me… aita?

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Nah he’s got a stick up his butt no offense. He made his choice to not take time but he shouldn’t keep you and your kids from going and having a paid vacation. That’s absolutely ridiculous.

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Ehhh yes… but so is he slightly. He shouldn’t have gaslit you but taking time off of work as soon as you start is not a good thing. Maybe yall could have asked your mom to do it later so everyone could go. Maybe yall should have talked about it more. I know for my husband and I we would have been mad/sad at the other if we took a vacation with our the other. I understand yall of course could have gone without him like you did. But he probably feel down is sad that you left him because he had to work and instead of just being emotional and telling you he’s just getting mad and gaslighting like people do when they don’t know how to share emotions

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No you're not the asshole. He needs to understand that you can't keep the kids home all the time and not go do stuff cuz he didn't take the time off. Sorry that's ridiculous

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that’s why I said they need to talk about it and it can all depend on things.

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ok good for you. I think she could have done better. Not necessarily an a hole. But neither was he. They just needed to communicate better

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It’s about the kids. If he can’t accept that then there is something more behind it

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No, your not. Your thinking of the kids and taking the opportunity for a free vacation, which was so nice of your mom.

I do think the two of you communicate a little more along with your mom on coordinating but i think your husband is just upset he couldn't join as well.

But by no means are you butthole for going. I am glad your children had a wonderful time 😊

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What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..


When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.


Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

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