Am I the butthole?
My husband and I just moved states and are currently living with my mom. My mom offered to take us and the boys all on vacation for a week. My husband stated that he didn’t want to take that much time off of work when he just started (two months ago). He has the time but didn’t want to miss work. I offered for him to come down just for the weekend but he refused that as well. He is now mad at me for still going and is gas lighting me because we went even though he said no. The children are having an absolute blast and I truly didn’t want them to miss the experience of going on vacation (which they never have) all because he didn’t want to take the time off work. So tell me… aita?
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Nah he’s got a stick up his butt no offense. He made his choice to not take time but he shouldn’t keep you and your kids from going and having a paid vacation. That’s absolutely ridiculous.

Ehhh yes… but so is he slightly. He shouldn’t have gaslit you but taking time off of work as soon as you start is not a good thing. Maybe yall could have asked your mom to do it later so everyone could go. Maybe yall should have talked about it more. I know for my husband and I we would have been mad/sad at the other if we took a vacation with our the other. I understand yall of course could have gone without him like you did. But he probably feel down is sad that you left him because he had to work and instead of just being emotional and telling you he’s just getting mad and gaslighting like people do when they don’t know how to share emotions

No you're not the asshole. He needs to understand that you can't keep the kids home all the time and not go do stuff cuz he didn't take the time off. Sorry that's ridiculous

that’s why I said they need to talk about it and it can all depend on things.

ok good for you. I think she could have done better. Not necessarily an a hole. But neither was he. They just needed to communicate better

It’s about the kids. If he can’t accept that then there is something more behind it

No, your not. Your thinking of the kids and taking the opportunity for a free vacation, which was so nice of your mom.
I do think the two of you communicate a little more along with your mom on coordinating but i think your husband is just upset he couldn't join as well.
But by no means are you butthole for going. I am glad your children had a wonderful time 😊