AITA — money …

I make about 20k more then my husband yearly (after he pays child support ) . I pay more in utilities and groceries . And also pay 60-70% of all expenses for our daughter plus his daughter (when she’s over, outings food she likes clothes etc). He doesn’t manage his money well and is now asking if I can lend him $10-15k to pay off his credit cards because interest is too much . While I get where he’s coming from , I don’t feel like it’s fair because I’m always telling him “no we don’t need this or that..” but he continuously buys things that are not needed . Then he always says “but you make more money” . Yes that’s true but I pay more expenses and I also budget accordingly. Am I wrong for not wanting to help him ?

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My gripe is that he will also make large and small purchases and I tell him that’s up to him if he can afford it . Then he always bites off more then he can chew then he looks to me for help and will get mad at me for not wanting to help. We do not combine our money . I know if I “lent” him the money it would turn into “I only owe you $5k can we call it even” or something like that . I don’t think that’s fair . He did this last time when we bought a home and he was gonna pay me back for the down payment. Then he said something came up and will work on our home instead of paying me back. I know a marriage is a partnership and we contribute in diff ways but I work hard to plan for things financially (mainly for the kids) and I feel like if I continuously let him borrow money he’s gonna keep that mentality and wipe us both dry

I don’t think you are the AH. I am in the same situation with my son’s dad and sadly I ended up moving out because he did not contribute. He spends money on things HE wants and my son is now 1 and I think the only thing he has helped with was a box of diapers. At the end of the day, if you lost your job, you look to him for help and to manage things if you can’t. I think he needs to step up and work it out himself

I think you are well within your rights to decline. He won’t learn if he’s being bailed out constantly. I wouldn’t be parting with 15k that you know you won’t get back xx

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Feeling like I’m failing

Hey guys, I need some advice or some positivity here!
My daughter is 5 months next week and she has her first tooth coming through! Yay! But for the past month or so she has become so wary of family whenever I go to visit! She screams, won’t settle, cries the whole time. I went for my birthday to celebrate and I had to leave because she just would cry looking at anyone :( it’s so hard because she used to be so good with anyone!

Will this change or is this just the way she is? I try to see them as often as I can, and my MIL is looking after her in two weeks overnight and part of a day and I’m petrified of what’s going to happen, that she’s going to scream. My poor MiL 😭. I’m a very calm and collected person and I don’t get worked up when she does react this way… I just feel so sad and down that I can’t be with family and that my poor girl is scared. I give her so many cuddles, milk, toys, going to a quiet room, but she just doesn’t settle 😭

Please someone say this is a phase and there is light at the end of the tunnel ?!!

With the weather getting nicer I just feel we are going to miss out on so many lovely family memories