MIL always trying to compete with my family..
Anyone else’s MIL seem to get jealous/spiteful of your relationships/spending time with your own side of the family? It’s like she thinks it’s always a competition.
For example, we went on holiday with my side of the family and it just so happened to fall the week of my son’s first birthday. This was not planned at all, just worked out to be the cheapest week and best for people to take off work etc. Well my MIL got very stroppy about this, even though we arranged to have a party with them the day we got back. She FaceTimed the morning of his birthday at 6.45am to make sure she was “the first one to see him on his birthday before anyone else”. This was said in a spiteful way, not nice as in she just wanted to see my sons face lol 🫠
She also recently got annoyed as she mentioned we were invited to her brothers surprise birthday party in November (I have never met him, he’s never met my son and my partner has not seen him since he was a child). We declined the invitation as it fell on the same day as my mums 60th which we have already arranged celebrations for. Like how could you be annoyed at that? Of course we’re going to ‘pick’ my mums 60th??
I see MIL with my son at least once a week. I see my own mum once a week, but quite often MIL will invite herself round a second time as if she’s trying to compete with my mum.
Generally our relationship is fine, aside from a few comments about ‘still’ breastfeeding or my son’s sleep etc that I have bitten my lip at. I think as SIL’s husband has barely any contact with his family, MIL has their daughter all to herself with them. It’s like she doesn’t like the fact she has to ‘share’ my son with my family too.
Does anyone else feel this way?
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Yes. At my sons first bday my MiL bailed up my dads wife and cried to her saying you’ve had a different grandparent journey to me you can see him whenever you like and we only see him when we are allowed.
For reference we spent the first 4 months in and out if the nursery and she seems to believe we made it up?!? We just didn’t want to see her.
We’ve been trying to catch up with mil for 6 months and she’s always busy - so other than my sons bday she hasn’t seen him but that’s not our fault 🤷♀️
I have a similar issue and it honestly makes me nauseous. Neither sides (mine or in-laws) do I personally have a great relationship with, but the kids love them and that’s all that matters. But it’s just constantly a war between the two. FIL made a comment about trying to “buy more gifts for my daughter’s 1st b-day than my parents”. My MIL constantly complains that my kids have a closer relationship with my family (my side is just plain goofier and sillier, in-laws are very much reserved) but the kids still hug and want to FaceTime them, etc. What irritates me is that they don’t pay attention to their own relationships with us, only about out doing the other side. My side has its competition issues too, but I’m going crazy with it all. You’re not alone
Jeez these mil i don't know why grandparents feel like it needs to be a competition like my mil cried to my mom at my LO FIRST BIRTHDAY about how she never gets to see them but never makes an effort just like my "father" these grandparents are just crazy now 😭😑
it’s such bizarre behaviour isn’t it
Oh yes, my dad even jokes it's 'grandmother' wars because MIL has to have the attention of the kids whenever we are all together and absolutely hates it if I go to see my parents/grandparents with my girls when she's here on Saturday and Sunday and stays. I purposely arranged one Saturday to take my girls to their great grandparents one Saturday the weekend after she'd stayed a week for my youngest girls 1st birthday and she did not like it one but even though she'd been here with them for a whole week the week before. She's always buying them stuff as she knows my parents can't afford to treat the girls so much and birthdays and Christmas gifts have to be something extravagant or completely OTT even if we request her not too. SIL is the same. The both obviously think they're better than my parents and flaunt money about to show that they are. When in reality they just waste their money on things the kids don't want/need and we just end up giving it away as we have a tiny one bed flat with a 2yo and 14mo.
My MIL literally asked my baby (who is 8 months old): “I’m your favourite grandma, right?”. She thought I wasn’t listening and when she saw me she got embarrassed and said “well I’m the closest one to him” (because my family live abroad). So annoying.
My MIL makes shitty comments about how my son 'doesn't know her' and how my mum 'must love spending so much time with him'... well yeah... my mum messages me everyday, rings me, arranges to see me and we have a wonderful relationship. My MIL on the other hand can be controlling, unkind and hurtful. She's been to our house only a handful of times and our son is 4 months old. She seems to resent the fact that I see my own mother. It's her fault that she and I aren't close, she treats me and her son like shit most of the time! 🥺
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