wedding planning

hi my fiancé and i have been engaged since july 23’ i found out i was pregnant three weeks later and we got some planning done while i was pregnant but my mil insists on us having a big wedding. since my son was born 7 months ago we’ve planned more of the details but only have a couple of vendors set in stone because money has been an issue. our date is in june of 2025. my side is 40 people and his is 70 people. we are getting $7k combined from my parents and his and don’t have a savings of our own put aside other than our emergency savings due to getting pregnant and buying a home which was more important to us than our wedding obv. our total of all the vendors and everything is coming out to just over $10k and we cannot afford the difference in the time we have (we already changed the date once).

should we hustle to make it work to have a beautiful celebration with all of our loved ones or disappoint his family by having a micro wedding?

(neither of us are fussy abt the size of our wedding, although it would be fun to do something bigger) he’s letting me make the decision but i feel lost.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

One thing you might consider is having a micro wedding and a big reception afterwards not sure if that helps the cost for you but it’s what we are considering

In the grand scheme of things, no one’s opinion matters about your wedding day but yours. It’s about you and him, not them 💜

We eloped, paid $53 and found a photographer on fb for a beautiful shoot in the countryside. We paid for everything ourselves, no debt, no funding a party for everyone else, got back in the car and went straight on road tripping for our honeymoon.

If it’s so important to his family you can have a party and dress up again for them all.

Had a micro wedding, 42 guests total. Had a lot of family pitch in with an aspect of the wedding instead of a wedding gift or a honeymoon fund. My in-laws offered their beautiful back yard, my mother bought the dress, a cousin took half the price of all of our flowers, a family friend did my hair and makeup, my uncle and aunt did all the photography, and my husbands godmother provided all of the food. After a bunch of other help, and lots of DIY, I think we only paid about $4000 out of pocket for the whole thing.

You can always cut costs. Buy sams club cake, wedding flowers packages, food trays, drinks, etc. if you look online they have everything! :) we did! I also used dollar tree a lot. We had a guest list of 70 and had our wedding and reception in a park. Everything total including my dress and alterations was under $5k. You don’t have to do all of the fancy things with the fancy vendors. We had 0 vendors. We just rented the small park and its building out.

You could invite only the people who mean the most to you and live stream for everyone else?

We got married in the courthouse which was perfectly fine with us

Accidentally chose make it work it’s your day and I would keep saying that it’s your wedding

It’s YOUR wedding and YOUR money. Your MIL doesn’t get to insist. The economy isn’t what they grew up with - spending money like this can destroy your family.

in our community

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Potty training ready?

Hello everyone I was wondering if my son may be potty training ready? My son is 17m almost 18m old. He is not afraid of the toilet and actually curious about it. He is always trying to rip off his diaper even when completely dry and once he gets it off he throws it around like 3 times before he walks away. However, I did hear one sign that makes kids potty ready is dry diapers at night. He still fills up those bad boys. So in all of your experiences do you think hes ready?