I don’t want to be alive

It’s been 4 months since postpartum and I have been hanging out with friends, exercising, going on trips, journaling, praying, etc. (all the things I love) but I just feel so empty. Like I’m filling up a container that has the other side of it open. And the rest of my energy I put it into my son and trying to keep the house in order. I’m thinking why isn’t this gone yet?? How long does it take to go over this bridge?
Any minor inconvenience I feel like I’m at my wit ends. My husband is tired from work and he feels overwhelmed having to carry all of this load.
I’ve told him about it recently, but he thinks it’s because of him.
And I’ve never been completely awful with handling my emotions but I feel so unseen and unheard and completely useless.
We got into another fight last night and he told me he can’t handle me and I’m too much and I should go home for some time… and I really just didn’t want to exist anymore. I know I could turn everything around but I just feel so alone, broken, and lost. I don’t handle it very well and started throwing stuff in the kitchen. Which is completely shameful. Just adds to the reason why I feel incompetent. I don’t want my son to have me as a mom. I don’t want to off myself, but I just don’t want to exist.

in our community

When did you circumcise your baby?
If you DID NOT or DO NOT have a circumcised son DO NOT comment this post is not for you!

Did you wait a certain amount of time or have it done immediately?
Again respectfully, this is only for the parents who choose to do so.
opinions about how not necessary it is will not be appropriate for this post. Thank you in advance. 🩵

Vanilla extract

Has anyone used alcohol free vanilla in their babies formal to help them drink?
I’m 100% sure my baby refuses her bottles as she doesn’t like the taste of it!

Just anxious to try it, don’t want her to get used to it and then refuse bottles again after two weeks of using (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve read you use it for 2 weeks max)

TIA 🙂

Can someone pls help i keep making this post and nobody is responding

My boyfriend booked a trip for us to go to mexico for a week as my push present. I have severe anxiety leaving my 7 month old with my mom. I know she will be in good hands but she’s exclusively breast fed for the most part but accepts bottles just fine. i have all my pumping parts packed and will pump when baby normally eats but i don’t want baby to forget me or have latch issues when i return!! any mommas ever experience this?

Car seat crying

My 6 month old PANICS the second I put him in a car seat and screams, cries, chokes and recently even projectile vomited on a 14 minute drive. It’s gotten to the point I don’t even bring him out unless it’s to a doctors appointment. I’m a stay at home mom with no family in my state and it has been very isolating. We’ve tried 3 different car seats with no improvement. Has anyone had a baby who hated the car seat? Any advice? This started at 3 months. I will add it does seem worse when he’s tired. He does cry on every trip though. He only contact naps and co sleeps so he reaches for me and will not sleep in the car seat.

Sex post C section

Hi ladies I’m 4 weeks 5 days postpartum and I had a C section. I’m not bleeding properly anymore just some brownish discharge stuff that starts on and off. I’d like to do the deed with my partner; is it okay to do so or shall I wait the full 6 weeks. I feel up for it but also worried because the advice is 6-8 weeks.

Postpartum

I’m only 3 days postpartum (FTM) and already have extremely bad anxiety. I’m crying every night, as I think of another night of no sleep. My baby will not settle in his cot, he cries every moment we put him down unless in his chair rocker. So me and my partner are having to alternate after 3/4 hours of being awake with him downstairs. I’m trying everything to get him to settle. It’s a load of overwhelming stress. I’m 23, I was desperate for a baby and now I have one and feel completely useless. I miss it just being me and my partner.