I am always tired and it pisses my husband off.

hey mama, im sorry to hear you’re going through a hard time right now, it’s really brave of you to reach out for some advice and support. ❤️

it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, you’re juggling so many roles at once, you’re literally superwomen. here’s some thoughts and advice, i hope it helps mama, feel free to drop me a message anytime if you want to talk/just need a listening ear.

your health is a priority, if your health is not in a good place it will inevitably affect most aspects of your life. i don’t understand what you mean about your birth causing anxiety, depression and insomnia, are you referring to a traumatic birth? or pregnancy? whilst both things can be traumatic for a lot of women, they won’t often leave you with lasting conditions like depression and anxiety. i would seek therapy (gp’s are generally rubbish) for what underlying situations/experiences have happened to you to make you feel such way. you need to work through these difficult moments in your life in order to-

get on the other side and get better. i think therapy would be extremely helpful.

i think you should also get the medication you’re on reviewed by a doctor, as it’s causing you side effects that are affecting your day to day life. there will often be alternative options that can work better for you. i personally don’t take any contraception because of how nasty of a person it made me, i have ADHD also, so im a highly sensitive individual and hormonal contraception made me a monster 😅 using condoms and going completely hormonal contraceptive free should make a huge change for you! but of course this is down to your personal preference, you could explore other options and see what works better for you.

i’d also recommend a blood test, to make sure all your vitamin and mineral levels are good, as a lack of iron for example could be messing around with your energy levels.

it sounds like your husband doesn’t fully understand what you’re going through on a day to day basis, and the load that you’re actually carrying constantly, i’d let him know that you’d like to have a sit down and let him know how you’re feeling and how things have been affecting you. maybe he could take over certain tasks to help even out your load more. let him know that you do want to be more present but you’re struggling at the moment with numerous things, and talk through them with him, so he’s not in the dark about what’s going on.

if your husband is getting mad at you for becoming low energy after all that you’re doing, it certainly doesn’t seem like the time for another baby. he should be focused on strengthening the relationship and taking care of you first. you don’t need to rush into another pregnancy-

If you’re not wholeheartedly ready yet. you could say something like “i love our family and the thought of growing it, but i need time to focus on my health and energy first so i can be the best version of myself for all of us.”

you’re doing amazing mama, you’re doing so so much, celebrate the wins, no matter how small they seem, whether it’s giving your son a bath, finishing a workday, or even just getting through a tough day.❤️

my goodness it was such a sigh of relief to read all that. I feel so validated, thank you so much ❤️

I think you're right, an appointment with my doctor is needed with all of this.

I was already depressed and anxious before giving birth, just unaddressed and unmedicated. Speaking with my doctor and psychologist, it was clear that I was just pushing through life unhappily and then when birth came along, it just kicked everything into high gear and made my symptoms worse.

I've always hated my contraceptive pill, but right after birth, my doctor recommended it in order to regulate my hormones again. I think it's about time I get off of them and just use a condom.

I think that's a first step that I can do on my own (unfortunately it takes months before we can get a doctor's appointment here). Once I get that, I'll go discuss my energy levels. We can look into whether it's anti-depressant related, vitamin/mineral related or contraceptive.

Thank you so much. I was feeling so helpless and I

Feel like I have a plan now ❤️

I totally agree about waiting for a second child. I was hesitant because I know that I am not better.

I've tried talking to him before, but I was a nightmare the year after giving birth and have come a long way, even though I'm not better yet. I think he's frustrated with how long the process is (as am i-) and kind of just expects me to be better now.

It's so fucking long. I went from suicidal and having 2-3 panic attacks every day to really happy, one panic attack every 2-3 months, when I accidentally forget a pill.

My lasting issues are lack of energy and overweighted-ness. I am so proud of myself, but there's still more to go.

I can't believe it's been 3 years and I'm still not fully over it. It's insane what motherhood does. On a good and bad way!

Thanks again, your comments really helped a lot ❤️

i am so so glad that i was able to be of some help, you aren’t alone beautiful ❤️

i’m really sorry to hear about your mental and emotional health struggles before birth, i’ve suffered with anxiety from a young age and have a history of depression, and you’re so right about all of it being extremely heightened during pregnancy/birth. this type of stuff is a rollercoaster, some days better than others, towards the end of my pregnancy i really fell into a dark hole, i was so angry all the time at literally anything and was really difficult to be around, it impacted my relationship a lot, a similar situation like yours. whilst it is frustrating for our partners, there should never be any time limit for how long it can be difficult put on these type of things because i like i said it really is a rollercoaster. whether it’s 3 months or 3 years mama it’s all valid and you have every right to feel how you do and not be made to feel guilty about it. you are doing your best -

no one wants to struggle so often! honestly i don’t know why a doctor would recommend it to balance your hormones out when in all honesty it just throws most women’s hormones out of whack! definitely do try to get off them and use condoms, and see the difference it makes overtime! it’s not necessarily an immediate fix, i found it took around 4-6 weeks to notice my hormones had felt more balanced and NORMAL when coming off them! x

i’m also sorry to hear about the difficulty in getting a doctor appointment, it’s the same here in the uk at least where i’m from! and the gp’s you end up seeing are just absolutely rubbish you wonder how they even got to their position! but i hope you have a good experience once you manage to get an appointment and are able to check over what’s necessary with a blood test and review your medication.

you know best about when to welcome a second baby into your family, take it easy and don’t put pressure on yourself with this, you’re already shouldering-

so much❤️

healing and recovering from such impactful life experiences like pregnancy and birth (let alone becoming a whole MOTHER) on top of that is such a blessing but also a very chaotic blessing. it’s full of twists and turns and things we need time to recover from and understand about ourselves, all the change is so intense, what your body does is beyond our comprehension, so it’s not taking long mama, please give yourself grace, you and your body are so so strong , i’m so proud of you and i know your little one is so lucky to have you as their mama.

i’m also really struggling with my weight at the moment so i can totally relate on you with that, im trying to remind myself to be kind to myself and understand my body has done incredible things, and nurtured my healthy little boy who i gave birth to recently but my goodness it’s hard. i feel really ugly when i look at my body for too long in the shower but i know i have to be kinder to myself and prioritise time to be a bit more-

active and exercise! try to have that conversation with your partner again just to gently let him know that you are still struggling and that is OKAY, and what you require is support and love, not saltiness and further frustration to add to your plate, trying to make someone else really understand what you’re going through is tough, but if they love you enough they will do their best to understand and find ways together to move forward ❤️

I completely agree with all of that ❤️ thank you so much for your insight.

It's a struggle to find time to exercise too- I'm in Canada and I can't go running in the snow like I used to in the summer, not with my fragile ankles (which has gotten worse since my weight gain... It's a vicious circle) I keep spraining my right one and my left Achilles tendon needs to be seen.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I also need to get back to the gym. I need to get stronger and lose some weight so I can trust my body again.

Where do you live