Mother in law with Mental illness is hard!

No offense to anyone else, truly. How do you handle needy mother in laws when you share children?
We aren’t married but he can hardly go anywhere without her calling multiple times or getting asked for something. He was in his car to go to work here she comes asking for a ride to the store to get toilet paper, knocking on his door and banging on the door knowing he has to go.
He kept telling her no and me and our son got off the phone with him. We went somewhere yesterday and she called alot and he answered because she does have a mental illness so he worries but she mainly needs help in some way or something small. It feels like another child, sad to say. It feels toxic and this is why my son and I don’t visit. She is aggressive and goes off the handle at any moment. I have had alot of patience and I consider the circumstance, but it also puts me in a hard place to handle our child 24.7 because it’s not safe for him to do so.

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He needs to protect his family. It might be difficult to, but establishing boundaries by letting her know what days and times he can pick up groceries/what days he can run errands. Have him print it out. And then mute her phone calls outside of those times. If it’s not possible, he might need to consider a visiting nurse or a home. That’s so hard.

Agreed. I have suggested setting days but he has not made changes. I also suggested an aide because she is ALOT to handle! She is still mobile but impulsive so it leaves him to pick up the slack. I have stepped back on those talks as it became exhausting. One if his family members even said there’s Alot of codependency there. It sucks because I can’t do anything to make those changes happen. At times he’ll ignore her but eventually calls her back or answers. One day his phone rang and our son asks, who’s calling you and he said your Grandma. My son asked, for what? In my head I am like damn even our 4 year old sees it smh

sorry had to add more to my last response 🙃

Unfortunately, you’ll have to let him come to that realization on his own. He is on survival mode right now.

yea you’re right. That makes 2 of us 😔

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