What to do when your husband keeps lying about things and acting like it’s not a big deal.

I would try and have another conversation be very firm that lying has no place in your relationship, and he needs to be honest with you. His attitude is awful, and him saying things like "you bother me" is awful.

What is he like in other ways? Like with your kids? His friends? His family? Your family? Chores? Work? Etc

Have you asked him why he feels the need to lie? What kind of things is he lying about?

This is all very odd, and his behaviour is not normal.

If he can't see that he has a problem, then I'd honestly leave.

I'm sorry you are going through this OP.

He’s great in all the other aspects, it’s just this one. Like he doesn’t seem to understand that when you do something to someone that they don’t like ( like lying ) they are going to have something to say about it. But we have had this conversation so many times and it’s like he always finds a new way to justify and it’s starting to feel like he doesn’t respect me. He lied because I don’t like him borrowing money from his mom and the bank has been slow on sending me my blank checks that we need to pay the rent. He lied to me about the fact that he paid his mom and had her write a check for the amount he paid her so we could pay rent. That would not have bothered me since he didn’t borrow any money. But instead he lies. And it was such a dumb thing. Like the dumbest of things. That’s why I don’t want to break up our family because it’s not a big deal but lately I’ve just been so over shit like that and I don’t want that lack of integrity to rub off on our kids if he continues.

that type of the behavior is kinda killing the love

Sounds like my dad… personally I’d leave. Most of the time it never gets better

I'd have another conversation. Lying isn't acceptable at all, regardless of how small the lie is.

He needs to know it has to stop. Tell him it's killing the love, he needs to know.

Some people are pathological liars they get an adrenaline rush doing it (hiding it, being secretive, hiding lies w more lies) and it’s an addictive disorder….

If the lying has cycles , it could be an adrenaline thing sure or , he gets confirmation/attention when he gets caught.
You could withdraw instead of digging into him when you catch him. I mean find ways in which you don’t reward the behavior with attention of any sort being positive or negative. Some people find dopamine in arguments and the like, lying adds a whole new layer of complexity to this. If it’s consistent and has patterns I would highly suggest therapy. If nothing gives you need to really think and decide if you’re staying or going.

The thing is that lying is something that people get into the habit of. Sit down and talk with him . Ask him why he lies. Ask if it's just easier for him to give an incorrect answer, than just take the time and think through and give a factual answer regarding " did you do ____" ( as an example )

I did what I had to do? Ask him why he had to lie. Ask him what he gained and what his reasoning was behind lying.