My husband didn't defend me in front of his mother.

My husband and I just bought our home. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and have a 19 month old toddler. My mil thought that paying us a visit in the middle of our move was ideal. I'm packing on my own while my husband is at work and my mil is useless. She tells me to sit and relax, but won't help. She scolds me for lifting (light items) but she just sits there and doesn't help. Her whole reason for coming to visit was to be helpful. All she's been doing is slowing me down, micromanaging me, and undermining me as a mother when it comes to my toddler. I'm sick of her already and she's been here for days. I decided on my own to just hire movers to assist us. I'm a sahm, so to her I just wasted my husbands money. I cut her off and told her, "No. I didn't waste his money. I spent OUR money and frankly it's none of your business unless you planned on moving boxes and heavy furniture between you and your son". Right in front of my husband, she called me a nag, a user, and a narcissist. I'm tired. I'm tired of her, I'm tired of her surprise visits, I'm tired of hearing her say the stupid made up nickname for my daughter a million times, I'm tired of her acting like I'm handicapped while I carry an empty box...the list goes on. I can't do a lot, but I can pack. I'm not even lifting the fucking boxes. A plate is not too heavy to lift, SONDRA!!! ANYWAYS, my husband has nothing to say to her as she insulted me. He agreed with me, but the fact that he said absolutely nothing shows me how spinless he is and it makes me sick. I'm tired of the cooch he came out of. Ps, his mother kissed my daughter on her mouth knowing damn well where we stand with mouth kisses. Ya bet he didn't say shit about that either. Stupid old woman.

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How petty are you willing to be?? Next time you speak to any of your family whether they asked you or not, make sure your MIL can hear and simply reply “ no I’m doing it all by myself while he’s at work, yes his mum is here, I know I thought she would too”. 😄 I would also keep track of the smallest things if she sneezes, no bless you, simply say, that’s why I don’t want people kissing her on the mouth, Make sure your husband hears some of your comments, if he tries to say anything then a chat needs to happen about why he doesn’t defend you like that. I think you need to speak to your husband about unannounced visits and simply say in your new home you’re not having unannounced visits especially when the purpose is to be judgmental and bring you down. My family have learned the hard way, I have been home and just didn’t open the door, because I was told you were coming.

a user an a narcissist !! INFRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND ! Girl I am appalled. Completely blown away by the fact he didn’t defend you I’m so sorry

Girl you better start checking her NOW with the disrespect if not it’s going to get worst, tell her that her stay has expired, she needs calls before coming over for a visit and you want peace in your home and right now you don’t have it, create boundaries and make her stick to them since your husband won’t, if she kisses your child again, immediately end her visit since she knows the rules, tell her she broke them and until next time…..I did this things to my MIL and husband went right along with it. Happy wife happy life but she’s needs to go 🤷🏽‍♀️

My heart goes out to you. In all ways you can, be kind and good to yourself. Don’t second guess or judge yourself and don’t accept that from others. Your feelings are valid and you are right. Bravo for standing up for yourself and making the decision to hire help AND to tell the MIL to back off. Your hub. Is in the wrong no excuses at all. You may not have the energy right now but you need at some point to sit down with him privately and lay down the law regarding the mil and your expectations . His behavior will not change ( I speak, sadly, from experience) until you demand it changes. AND I suspect you will still need to address MIL directly without much support from him. Stand your ground . It’s not fair, it’s not right but it is what it is. Best of luck.

Ugh what a spineless jelly fish. If I were you I’d would confront your husband on that. If your husband doesn’t have your back who will? That’s so wrong on so many levels.

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