Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Impending sense of doom

I've always had a bit of a dark thought process I guess where I play scenarios out in my head of potential 'what ifs' such as, when I'm driving over a bridge, I might vividly imagine what might happen if I had an accident and went over the barrier. Or a house fire, or being robbed or losing a relative in loads of different ways. I don't think there's a day that goes by where my mind doesn't have this kind of thought process at least once, at least it definitely hasn't since I've been pregnant.

And I just don't know if this is something everyone experiences or if there's something underlying, but now I'm 8 months pp and it's getting a bit intense and overwhelming, but moments like now where I feel really panicked about it.
I'm a little superstitious maybe in the way that I think if I focus on these thoughts too in depth then I might manifest that thing and it could happen 😂 it's ridiculous I know.

My whole pregnancy I don't think a day went by where I wasn't worried that we would lose that little heart beat and I think that is normal for a lot of women. But now 8 months have gone with my healthy baby and I feel this strong impending sense of doom so frequently.

The constant fear when baby sleeps that maybe that will be the sleep that she doesn't wake up from. The scenarios in my head when she eats of what if she chokes and I would have no idea what id do. I walk into her room at night and there's a part of my mind vividly playing out me checking her breathing and nothing being there and having to tell my partner etc.
I've got this sickening feeling that I won't get to see her grow up whether that's due to her or me. But then I have this crushing fear that something will happen to my partner and she won't grow up with her dad.

I appreciate that these thoughts must be normal for us all in some way, my worry is that it's every day and sometimes multiple times. I just don't understand it and I haven't really been able to tell anyone about it because I'm worried about judgement but again it's that fear of 'manifesting it'. I just feel a bit loopy and lost and so so scared.

I'm lucky to have never lost anyone close to me and obviously at some point I'm going to have to experience that as we all need to go some time. But I feel like life is getting good and my family life (brothers/ sisters/ parents) is so much more valued now that I'm often so worried that I'm going to get a call one day that the worst has happened.
My dad isn't 100% and has always had this belief that he would pass around 50 due to the men in his family and he's so unhealthy and recently had brain issues etc and I'm just not ready to lose him. But since his recent health problems in September, I'm worried every day that he's not going to be around for this new chapter of my life or he will pass when my baby is a toddler like his dad for me.

I needed to get this out, to anyone whose still read this, I apologize for the length. I'm just a bit lost and it's my first step I'm attempting to try understand what's going on and hopefully find the right avenue for help

Any and all advice is welcome, thanks!

in our community

Hour night wakes and 5am get up

Can anyone shed some light as to why on earth my child doesn’t want to sleep??? My eyeballs are bleeding!!

Never been a good sleeper, but the problems always changing. He’s nearly 9 months old.

Beginning of the month he dropped to 2 naps. We could put him to bed at 7pm and he’d get up for the day at 6am, with multiple wake ups every 2/3 hours.

Now we put him down at 7pm, he can do a good 4/5 hour stretch, but come 1/2am he’s up every hour then getting up for the day at 5am. This then completely messes up the day because I can’t keep him awake long enough to even get to 7pm, let alone later.

He has 2 naps, roughly about 1hr10 each but it changed based on when he wakes and trying to get him to a reasonable bed time.

What could be the reason for this? 6am is fine, but 5am is not 😩😩

Help! First time mum -

I have a 4 month old and now all of a sudden when he’s been asleep for 1hr30/2hrs he will wake up screaming (high pitched) I’ve tried winding him sometimes that helps, I’ve tried bicycle legs & bringing his knees up but that doesn’t seem to help but he brings his knees up himself sometimes but nothing happens. I’ve noticed since the 4 month mark he has started to struggle passing wind downwards! Any tips?

Don’t want to leave my first born😭😭😭

Anyone else extremely sad and anxious to leave their first born😭

He’s 2 and we have never not put him to bed or be here for when he wakes up😭

I’m so sad and anxious about leaving him

Help meeee

!!All advice welcome!! My 5 month old (nearly 6mo) is just not sleeping . Not for naps and not at night . She can’t connect her cycles . We started sleep regression at 3 months but in like how is this nearly been going on for a further 3 months . Like surely not . She has 10 min naps in crib ( which take so much effort ) and maybe 20/30 min naps in my arms/pushchair . She wakes minimum every hour at night with guaranteed false start 20 mins in . I combo feed. I breastfeed her until almost asleep then place her in the next to me crib give her the pacifier and put my hand on her cheek/face for 20 seconds and she drifts off . It’s not really getting her to sleep that’s the issue it’s she just won’t stay asleep . She doesn’t even need to feed much at night usually 1-2 breastfeeds . The rest is comfort wakes needing her pacifier or my hand on her cheek . I’ve looked into sleep associations and independent sleep and I broke the feed to sleep association and rocking and do bedside comforting instead for most wakes which has now lead to my hand being a sleep association on her face . I’m just so exhausted my husband is working mon-fri 9-9 and it’s just me . I haven’t had more than 4 hours in a row since her birth . I can’t get anything done during the day . She is so clingy and cries if I leave room /put her down etc. I love her so much but we both need rest . If anyone has any tips or a routine that could help PLEASE tell me I’ll try anything 🥲❤️❤️

Feeds

How many times a night are your little ones getting up? My daughter is every 90-110 minutes. I am absolutely exhausted and don’t know how much more I can cope

Sleep

My baby is now 8 months and we have a sleep problem.. he refused to sleep during the day , I need to rock him for about 40min then have break and try again even though he's clearly tired , sometimes he doesn't have the last nap because it is impossible to put him down. For the last few nights he wakes up every hour with cry and most of the day looks tired. I was at the GP and everything seems fine. Don't know what to do anymore. Does anyone have the same issue? How to deal with it?