Boyfriend went to gym with another girl?

I don’t think you are being paranoid at all. Listen to gut feeling. Seems quite fishy to me.

Sometimes this insecurity comes from somewhere, i feel like woman gut never lie….but is tru that your hormones are all over the place after having a baby….so my advice is focus on the baby, leave him do what he wants, if he lies he lies to him not to you…and if he does something wrong, it will come out at some point, without you getting paranoid and stressed. You can just tell him with your voice very firm and calm…to don t take advantage of the fact that you are home with the baby, because that baby will grow and you will be free again….and to don t lie anymore because you will find out.
Then he will ask you probably what lie did he tell, but don t say it , make him wonder and struggle with the thoughts that if you really know or not. If you get paranoid and stressed you already lost control of yourself, so be strong and patient everything will go in place. Also from my point of view are too many coincidences for them to be alone anytime…and her messaging him if his safe at home…No

I dont know if is just me or not but anyone tells me to message them that I’m home safe I always forget also never ask people like I have the intent but never do I feel like it’s something you just say to people no ?

I would be questioning it but at the same I’m a very pity person I would be getting up to come watch the baby and say oh I’m going out for dinner with a friend but really go my self and then when I got back make small comments about a he but never say a name or anything then when he start getting para himself and asking questions I would be like oh my mate bailed on me but I had such a nice dinner he was so nice when he asked who the he was you say oh did I say he sorry and walk away when he gets angry and annoyed you would turn around and say the he was the waiter unlike your gym dates and again just walk away unbothered like you don’t care get on with it and let him sit in his shit for a bit. At the end of it you get a couple hours without the baby don’t nothing wrong and he gets to experience what it’s like to be paranoid for a bit (don’t know if that makes me a bit of a psycho but oh well don’t let your self be mistaken for being a mug)

such wise words

I don't think you being paranoid. It does sound odd thou. My partner the other was messaging this girl. I just nip in the shop and him and kids was in car as I got back he quickly click off I saw. I was like who was you messaging first he said no one I said you was he show me some girl that support newcastle like he does he met some people when he went pub ages ago and he sent her love heart thing he says they all do it when they lose a game. But im still like really in my head. So I get what you mean. It's not right to lie

You're not being paranoid at all, I would feel the same if my husband was spending this much time alone with a female co-worker and not telling me about it. While it can be something completely innocent, maybe they are just buddies, the fact he was hiding it from you on several occasions is weird. What I would do is tell him you want to meet her, if there's nothing between them he should be ok with it

You’re not paranoid at all. Trust your gut feeling

You’re not being paranoid. What he’s doing is wrong. He shouldn’t be calling you hormonal or paranoid. Clearly deflecting and gaslighting you.

In my opinion, if you’re doing something that you don’t feel comfortable telling your partner about, then you shouldn’t be doing it and you’re aware that it’s hurtful. So it’s definitely dodgy.
Life’s too short to hold onto things and spiral in your own head. I’d maybe confess that you know and ask to meet her to make you feel more comfortable.. see how that’s received. Explain that you don’t want him to feel like he can’t do things or can’t talk to you openly but that lying is hurtful and please can he just tell you next time. Or ask him for some time for you to be able to do do enjoy yourself with whoever you’d like to

Thank you everyone for your advice, truth be told, I only know this because I saw on his phone, which I know I shouldn't do but for reasons like this, that's why I look 😫 so I feel I can't really say anything without him being suspicious. So I'm unsure how to go about it. When something similar happened before I just said my friend saw him but I obviously can't keep using that excuse. This has definitely been playing on my mind a lot. Even if he hasn't 'physically' cheated, I'm still emotionally hurt and just feel a bit disrespected! X

Why does he need to go to the gym with another women 🤔 I'm all for having same gender friends but I think its weird when you met them after you got together and hang round

I'd ask him like 'oh how did the gym go?' Who did you go with again? And see if he outright lies xx

As someone who has been stung in this situation before it’s completely unacceptable what he is doing, regardless is anything is or is not going on you should not be made to feel any type of way and this is making your feel anxious and worried- so not okay!!!!
Also always trust your gut I did and was never wrong!! He does not need to befriend this woman at work, set the boundaries now or you will get hurt hun 😣 xx

Also … (sorry getting passionate about this now)
Just tell him you looked at his phone!! Again been there and it’s crap but if you are the mother of his child I’m sorry but you’re allowed to look at his bloody phone when ever you want! The problem is him.. if your feeling the need to look at his phone then he is planting doubt and worry, so don’t hold back be honest and say I went though your phone Beacuse of how YOU are making me feel .. x

He came home saying he wants to go to the gym every night after work and I just said that I want to be able to go out too (I never do, I was just making a point) and he called me manipulative 😫

So what he’s aloud to have a hobby but your no it has to be the baby

@Kenlyn seems it! Just thinks of himself then tries to make me feel like the bad one x

He’s the one being manipulative. Somethings not right here.

Sorry you’re going through this 😞

Thank you for your support! I asked him yesterday if he was hiding anything because of how he reacted the other night, he just cried and said he wants to lose weight because he hates his body and implied that I'm controlling (I only said I didn't want him to go every night which is fair!) We were talking about his work lot and he accidentally called me the girls name in conversation 😭 he also implied I was accusing him of having an affair. There's been a few times where he's lied and told me he's working late but was actually at the pub yet I feel like it's all turned out me being the bad person. I said if he thinks I'm controlling then why is he with me and he said because he loves me. I'm so confused :(

This is a red flag from him. He likes her. 🤢 he goes to the pub and gym with her and hides it from you? Hell no… yikes

Red flag!! I’m sorry but this is exactly the same as what I went though the same excuses everything! Contact me privately if you like x

Thank you all x unfortunately I found more messages, I was away at the weekend and he was with her again, they went to the gym, the tanning beds. He later sent her a photo of his legs and said he has a tan line where his boxers are. She said she had loads of freckles coming out and he asked where she has freckles. Also, I was away this night for my mums birthday at a concert, he invited her over to our house for drinks 😭😭😭😭😭 she didn't go though. I'm so hurt and I've been crying a lot. I've messaged him and told him what I've read and said how much he's hurt me and broken my trust. He just said nothing has happened and we will speak when he's home!
I don't know what to do, we've been together 9 years, we have a mortgage, a one year old. Who the heck is gonna want a single mum if things end! But I don't want to be treated like this 😪

I've been with my husband 9 years and we have a 1 year old but if he did this I would be totally heart broken and not sure I could trust him again... cheating isn't just physically to me. If he admits what's happened and some sort of explanation and says it'll never happen again I may give him a second chance. It's totally up to you and how you are feeling xxx

@Jess thanks lovely. Unfortunately he sees nothing wrong with what he's done and was telling me she's just an 'f-ing friend' . He's her manager at work as well! He tried to turn it all around on me and say I'm overthinking things and that I just don't want him to have female friends
. I explained the issue isn't having female friends, it's about crossing boundaries and breaking my trust and he just doesn't see what he's done. Xxx

Oh wow I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You don't need to have a new female friend, what doesn't he get about that? I think you need to be tougher with him and just tell him, look I don't feel comfortable with this or just tell him fine you are going to go and make a male friend and start at the gym xx

Maybe go down the route of trying to explain to him that sending pictures of the tan line where his boxers are to his BOSS and inviting her to his house is worthy of him losing his job and her losing hers if they’re not careful.. And I’m sure she’d be throwing him under the bus if her neck was on the line. She doesn’t sound like a very ethical person…
I wonder if everyone else on the team is aware