What do I do

My stepson (7) is usually besotted with my newborn (8 weeks) but yesterday we were trying to get them to eat quickly before taking them back to their mum's. They were walking about and playing so we said no playing until you eat your food so they did and in that time I gave the little one to their dad so I could go for a wee. When I came back the older stepson was whispering in my 4 year old stepsons ear, he was convincing the little one that Sofia is more loved and gets more cuddles. When the 4 year old tried to tell me what he said the 7 year old screamed no. He's clever because apparently when he went to his mum's he reminded the little one that there's no point coming to his dad's house because Sofia gets all the attention and cuddles so the little one cried and was sad. So their mum text me husband and said this is what they've said and now my husband is planning a coffee and a day out with just those two and their mum. This happens alot, the older brother knows exactly how to play them and get his way, I'm scared it will become a theme if my partner gives in but he just ignored me, because no they're not my kids so you two can parent them the way you like but I feel it's just going to worsen the problem. What would you guys do

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There’s ways of making the boys feel loved with dad without a family day out that excludes you. I’m sorry it might be me but it feels like that behaviour is being rewarded with a family day out and you and your daughter are being pushed to the side.

Dad ought to be tackling this head on within your home. It’s great they coparent well but I don’t know, I just feel like it’s not the right approach. Dad can have one on one time with each of the boys when in his care without the need to do a day out with the ex. I’m sorry but I feel that just gives mixed signals to the boys. They can have mummy and daddy together if they play up and mummy and daddy aren’t together so it might be confusing at their age and cause resentment towards you as a reason that they’re not

Ive said to my partner that we all go as a family now, we're all a family and no one gets excluded, no one gets special days out on their own because that's not fair. Maybe a games night will help? Sofia can't play monopoly for example! The boys will feel loved and included and have a great time, I picked up loadssss of board games really cheap on vinted.
Maybe include the boys with cuddles and explain that babies need more cuddles because they can't walk, talk or do anything for themselves, or explain what they need so it's mummy and daddy's job to cuddle them and keep them close to understand why they cry or whatnot. Even things like showing them how to make a bottle get them to shake shake shake or how to change a nappy, make a game out of it, a silly rhyme or poooeee stinky bum bum, kids love to be silly and they will just start to enjoy being around this new little human and interact with her!

Whyyyyyy is it family day out with the mum I don’t get it. Boys day out together when they come to yours yeah fine. I don’t get why the mum needs to be involved, is the mum and kid plotting to try get them back together 🤷🏽‍♀️

Why is their mum going? 🚩 🚩

thank you, I've just had the conversation with my fiancé that I'm comfortable with any arrangement except those 4 going out together without me and Sofia. I don't even mind all 6 of us going because we're all civil and it's not particularly that awkward with all 6 of us, but it just reinforces that the family of those 4 doesn't exist, it's all 6 of us, them and their mum or the 5 of us together. They can't play up and push the new additions to the family to the side, but they can have the attention they were wanting by having a boys day out ect.

in our community

Am I wrong for getting upset?

Long story short. My cousin made a group chat for bridesmaids and groomsman to plan out bachelorette party.
I sent one text about finding a sitter and my cousin texts me to stop saying stuff like that cause no one gives a shit? As if no one else is gonna mention their personal lives during planning a trip of 10 people?
I. Put the screenshots. I got so hurt I told her just count me out if the mention of my kid offends everyone.

Appropriate age to go out

I am the kind of person who struggles with being at home all day, not good for my mental health. I have a 1 month old and I am trying to start doing things with her. Like going ti the park, running errands. But people seem surprised and kind of judgy that I am out with the baby at her age. Is this wrong?

Having a bit of a sad day

I don’t know if I want advice or just to get it out a bit.
I had a bit of a rubbish Mother’s Day, and then today had a falling out with my mum.
Very long story short, me and my partner turn 30 this year and were thinking of taking a short trip (2-3 days max) just the two of us to celebrate. Our son will be 2 by then.
We had discussed leaving our son with our parents and them sort of splitting having him (eg. My mum has him one night and my boyfriend’s mum has him the other two nights, or whatever we collectively decide on). They are both happy to do this.

Yesterday my MIL was pushing my son’s pram and got distracted and pushed it off the pavement into the road, a car missed the pram by about 5 seconds. This upset me a lot.

Me and my partner discussed this later on and I said it worries me leaving our son with her in case she does something like that. We also discussed the fact that my mum pays very little attention to our son when she’s with him and is absolutely glued to her phone (looking at social media etc) so we might just take him on holiday with us.

Then this morning I had a chat with my mum and told her we would probably just take our son away with us. She asked why and I mentioned the pram thing with my MIL so she said she would just have him- so I thought it was time to mention that when she’s with him she is glued to her phone and gets distracted and that it just worries me a bit. (For reference she’s been watching him before and because she’s been on her phone he’s managed to get half way up her stairs.)
She absolutely lost it at me. Called me rude etc.

I try so hard not to upset anyone and I’m just so so fed up now. I just wish it was simple and we could trust them to take care of him but they are both away with the fairies.

I want to talk to my mum but i don’t know how to approach it now. Just feel like i need a big cry.

Roles between a sthm and a working partner?

I started wondering if our arrangement makes any sense. When I was pregnant I saw a cute video of a couple where they sleep seperately, the mom takes care of the baby during the night, the husband wakes up early in the morning takes over so the woman sleeps a bit before he gets to work I suggest this arrangement to my husband and we both liked it. Since I gave birth to my 22 month old boy, we are sleeping separately, I’m taking care of everything. My toddler still wakes up during the night every two hours on average. I wake up in the morning to make his breakfast and drive him to the train station and pick him up later in the day. I clean and cook and take care of my boy, with no appreciation or thank you. If I say I’m tired it turns he’d say what are you doing all day or he’d remind me of how he’s paying for everything. I am emotionally and physically exhausted and I don’t feel this is how a team should work.

Water

My LO is 10 months old and I try and offer him water with meals but he will only take a couple of sips. I’ve tried adding freshly made apple juice to sweeten it a bit, in case this would entice him, but he still refused. I think if it’s not milk, he doesn’t want it, or it’s odd to him.

Any tips?

Teething

Does this look like she’s teething? She’s been so irritable, dribbling SO BAD, like I’m having to change her sleepsuit 3 times a day. Chewing on absolutely everything. She’s 4.5 months old.

Thank you ☺️