Fair price for daycare?

So with my son arriving here in less two months I have started to think about daycare options. We will have two months of maternity and paternity leave and then our little guy will have to be taken care of during the day. We do not have family available and cannot afford any stay at home parents. So far we do have a family friend who is a retired nurse who is interested in watching our son. We ended up meeting her on Monday and she was super cool and nice and I could see her taking care of our baby. However I’m trying to decide what a fair price would be if we do go with her? She is open to discussing it so I’m thinking we could do less than a daycare since she is retired and wanting to do this to help us out. I have no idea what daycare prices even are though I know they can be expensive. What would you think is a fair price to pay? Btw I’m in the Midwest so nowhere like California or New York where price of living is higher. If we do go with a daycare option instead what would a good price be for childcare? I don’t want to get scammed for a higher price than normal but I really have no idea about all of this. Any advice is appreciated but please no judgement this is going to be the best option for our family.

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I think this would vary depending on your area. I’m in Nj & the cost of daycare per month that my clients tell me is anywhere from 1200-1400 per month. I would suggest doing research for rates in your area & then going from there to determine what would be cost effective

You're just going to have to contact places in your area to get costs, or look for a local childcare group online and ask there. When I was in Nashville, $1300+ for full-time care was pretty standard at private daycares, a little less at some of the national franchises like La Petite or Kindercare. Slightly less in the Chicago suburbs where I am now. A private nanny is typically way more, esp if they have special training or skills like educators or medical training. Daycares generally have about a 1 year wait-list the places I've lived, so you're already behind in that sense. A lot of them operate on a school year schedule also, so at this point in the year you may be still be okay getting on waitlists for next fall. We were able to get into our first one by registering for summer session and then having preference for fall, but it was on 2021 when a lot of people were still working remote and keeping kids at home.

Daycare in the Minnesota metro runs around $2,000 per month. Honestly, paying a nurse to nanny for you full-time should be more expensive than that. Thats like $100 a day for a full time job..

Daycares have multiple children, so multiple sources of money, and 1 staff can watch more than one kid. Also, Daycares typically have to follow state requirements when it comes to education & food, etc. which is why we went with the one we did. We know our kid will learn and not just sit around all day. I personally wouldn't do in-home Daycare because I've read too many horror stories. Just 2 months ago a 3 year old ate meth out of the bathroom of his daycare 😬 nope

Like Audrey said, there is typically a wait list for daycares, so you need to contact ALL of them in your area and go on tours ASAP so you get a feel for what you would like. Maybe you can work out a $$ with the nurse lady to fill in until Daycare becomes available 🤷🏽‍♀️

Price for daycare is between 1200 to 1400 a month for a newborn in my area. In our situation this does include food and diapers/wipes.

in our community

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Struggling with IMMATURE dad 😪

Had issues pre- baby, drug use, drinking nearly every weekend, viscous cycle calms down, behaves then back to it. Calms down again wants to change, wants to be be a good dad and loves his daughter so stops going out.. but tonight out of no where, goes to football wins a game and turns his phone off so I can’t even get hold of him. What do you with this sort of behaviour? I feel so stuck and feel like I can’t get out of this relationship as he can be so manipulative. Struggling financially so he’s also spending money we don’t have and need for our baby.
Any help or advice would be appreciated 😢