Advice please

Following bc i struggle with the same thing with my 16 month old boys

it’s so hard . Their dad doesn’t have this issue , and I feel so guilty but like I just bathed them and put them down for bed and I’m like I love you but FINALLY . Lol it’s always something, I know they’re toddlers and certain behaviors are expected especially at this age but with twins it’s so crazy lol

I am in the EXACT same boat. Their dad is so good with them and doesnt get overwhelmed or overstimulated like i do. It makes me feel like I'm not cut out to be a mom. He is also very actively involved with them. So much so that he bugs his boss to WFH so that he can be with them. Its his dream to be a sahd but financially it just doesnt make sense for us because he works in tech and has skills that make a lot more money than anything i can do. I feel so guilty that every time they fall asleep, all i feel is relief and while they are asleep, all i feel is anxiety anticipating them waking up.

girl , I cry because of how guilty I feel . It’s so difficult for me , and so easy for him . I make sure to apologize to the girls as well because I never got that as a child and I know it’s not the babies fault , but we were even thinking of putting them in daycare part time just so I had some free / alone / me time and of course so the girls can get out the house and we feel they are at that age where socialization etc could benefit them a lot now . I haven’t gone 24 hours without them , I’ve been with them every single day since birth and haven’t spent more than 8 hours away , my sister took them for a few hours the other day and as she drove off I cried but then I felt okay , like my bf /bd is always like why don’t u go with your friends for a weekend or spend the night with your gfs and I always say no because of the guilt I feel like ofc I won’t argue I need time away but being a mom always comes first no matter how hard it is . Ugh

Right now I’d say the best book I’ve read is “happiest toddler on the block” it’s sooo helpful. I don’t have twins but my 2 and 4 year olds are constantly fighting too it can be difficult to deal with! But please take time for yourself. It’s so important. I’m past the point of feeling guilty, I am a better mom when I have time for myself to regroup.

Thankyou ! It’s definitely reassuring to hear that it’s OK to take time for yourself.

Dude i literally feel like we are the same person in nearly the exact same situation. I'd totally be down to connect if you want to come off anon and message me.

My boy/girl twins are almost 3 with a 5yo big sister and I still get overwhelmed from time to time. Twins really are a lot and seem to feed off each other. Sometimes I'll sing along to their songs and kind of yell the lyrics to get my frustrations out. My favorite one to get frustrations out is defying gravity from the wicked soundtrack! 😆
I mostly just try to take turns with them doing things and try to not make any of them feel left out, but when they all are like mommy mommy mommy at the same time, it gets to be too much and I just try and distract them with something and then go off to the side and do something to calm myself down.

You got this mama!!!

Thankyou for taking the time to reply ! Loved your response. Twins are a handful , and I heard that part about feeding off of eachother lol

I have to take time for myself. I usually plan a few hours on the weekend. I know that I am a better mom when I let go of the guilt and fulfill my own need for quiet me time. I have also started wearing a single earbud, or shock type headphones that allow you to still hear your environment, and play music or something that relaxes me.