Wedding

I feel like such a misery guts saying this but I literally cannot be bothered with a big wedding?

Ive ALWAYS had my dream wedding planned but now I have my LO my ideas about spending money and energy on things has completely shifted.

My LO is 9 and a half months and its fair to say my mental healths been up and down since having him. I cant tell if my reason for not wanting this big wedding is my new personality or a little bit of postpartum depression/fatigue…

We have been engaged over a year now and I just want to go to a registry with my partner, baby and our parents and then jet off on holiday! I cant bare the thought of spending a house deposit on a day (no matter how much fun it might be/ how expected it is).

I think another big thing is since having my LO I dont feel as included with friends and family as i have in the past.

I dont want to upset family and friends and I can tell my partner feels a little confused by how i view the day. I do think as soon as we look at costs its clearer to him why I cant see the point in spending so much money. I also just hear/see people stressing about their wedding days which really puts me off!

I guess what im asking is -

do I need to wait it out and see how i feel in a year or do I embrace these feelings and get things booked in (jan 2027 wedding)?

what were your experiences with getting married?

Thank you so much in advance.

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I was supposed to get married in 2020 (biggish wedding 100 people). That’s obviously never happened! We had our son in 2021. It was a bit different for us as we had paid for everything for our wedding already, but I can totally get your point. I was NOT bothered in the slightest about rearranging it. We kinda had to as we had paid for it but I was really not interested 😂. I honestly think if we hadn’t had everything arranged we wouldn’t be married yet.
BUT In a way I think it made it better that I wasn’t bothered. I really didn’t care if people couldn’t come any more / what the food was / what the venue looked like / if people got annoyed with who was invited.
We did have the best day! It was great having our son there and for him to be part of the day and I’m really pleased we did it now.
I don’t have any real advice for you - just go with your gut. If you want to keep it small do it. It’s your day no one else’s. So what if people get upset - if you’re paying then wa

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Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

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14

Saying NO to buying toys etc

5 year old is getting really envious of others. He is obsessed with items that other kids have at school. I am pestered daily to buy these things in a different style when we already have 3 others. I have seen parents just buying stuff their kid likes which I don't necessarily agree with even when i can afford it. How do you deal with it?

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10

Identity crisis?

Am I the only sahm who feels like they have lost their identity??? I don’t make money for my family, when I used to make great money. But I refuse to drop my under a year old baby off with strangers.
My husband works so much. But I have no control over bringing in money and I’m a control freak type of person! I feel l like I’m losing my grip because we are kind of broke, but day care would only eat up my income anyways! So what’s the point. I’m a workaholic and now I’m just a twitching bum.
I wish I could work from home but so far that’s a fake dream. I’m almost 9 months pp, and I just need to know these awful mood swings and depression will end soon! Send wine!

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19

Daycare?

Thoughts on daycare?? Truly, I am SCARED to be leaving my kid for daycare. I literally do not trust anyone, not even family (they haven’t given me a reason it’s just trust issues on my end, you never know). He’s turning 3 and I’ve been a sahm the whole time but tbh my man doesn’t make enough for us to move out somewhere more calm . We live in a ‘not so safe’ area in LA and I’m just not used to living here so I just want us to give my son a better life and in order to speed up the process I would have to work.. I do lashes at home and I’d be open to take new clients so I wouldn’t have to look for work but I’m just scared to lose my license 😭

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2

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Thoughts?

your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..

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8

Tablet for kids

Alright don’t need any negative Nancy’s telling me not to get my 2yo a tablet so if that’s what your gunna do please don’t participate in my poll.

We’re about to move cross country 3+ day trip and my 2yo and 9m hate the car I’m talking scream their heads off till they are out of their seats. We’ve already changed car seats and it didn’t help so I’d like to at least have one entertained and sit next to baby and try and distract her or put her to sleep. Our new car has tvs but since they are rear faced my 2yo can’t see it.

Debating getting her a tablet or dvd player right now on long car rides I end up giving her my phone because I get so overwhelmed sitting in between both of them screaming and crying.

And yes I do bring different toys I bring snacks I play songs try to distract her other ways but for the sake of not losing my mind on this move I think this is best.

-A very overwhelmed and anxious to move mama 😓

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