Lack of effort from partner for mothers day

I have a 2 year old, currently pregnant with my second and my partner knows how I like to make an effort on special days like birthdays and Father’s Day etc, he’s worked this week and was meant to go Mother’s Day shopping for me and his mum this afternoon so I was like at least he’s out time aside to do it when he’s free etc and has decided to stay in the pub instead , I’m so so pissed off and upset with his lack of effort knowing it is a nice thing to do for me , I’m now alone at home with my baby in bed , not getting a response from him when I’m asking what time is he home so I can sort tea, and feel like crying knowing I’ll not even have a card to wake up to tomorrow never mind a lie in I was promised Cus no doubt he will be hungover ☹️☹️ just posting because I feel a little lonely

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Im hoping he's at least been out midweek to get you something and you'll be pleasantly surprised tomorrow morning. That doesn't however excuse him spending today in the pub and ignoring you. I hope it's a better outcome tomorrow than you are expecting.

I asked my hubby what the plan was for tomorrow and he said I foiled the plans he'd had in his head so his suggestions were visiting his gran and his mum! Not my idea of a special Mother's day for me! We've booked soft play for the morning to at least spend some time as a family first!

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He told me all week he won’t have chance to go Asda until Saturday afternoon so unfortunately i know there isn’t anything for me for the morning and he’s still out. 🫠 I’m so upset that he had no desire to try and make me feel special on Mother’s Day and I’ll just be dealing with his hangover now but apparently I’m not being fair Cus he should be allowed to go the pub 🫣

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I hope you have a lovely time at softplay ❤️

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Aww thats sucks big time! It's not nice if you go out of your way to make his days extra special, the least he could do is repay the favour! I'm sorry he has treated you this way! I'd be doing nothing for him tomorrow.

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Happy Mother's Day!

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Unfortunately mine always makes little to no effort knowing that I love celebrating special days. Last year I decided I wouldn’t buy his a Father’s Day or birthday gift and he was so shocked by that.

Definitely wasn’t like this during our dating stage

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Happy Mother’s Day either way. If you’re up for it, go out tomorrow and celebrate yourself, whether it’s taking yourself out for brunch or to watch a lunchtime movie in the cinema

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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4

18

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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24

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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12

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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8

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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12

Do you say "fruit" or "fruits"

Eg. I'm going to buy some ..........

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4

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