Boyfriend goes out

No that's super annoying, 12 hours away for no reason is BS

That’s bs and I would never put up with that. My husband has never went out for beers with any guy friends or anywhere in general unless I’m with him. He literally only went 1 time to lunch with a friend he asked me to go but I wasn’t feeling well.

That’s awful, your feelings are completely valid, he needs to prioritise what’s important to him, he’s a father now and has a family and that comes with responsibility. I don’t think there’s any issues seeing friends but he should be present the next day and know when to stop drinking as that’s just not fair on you. It should also be equal, if you’re not able to go out together then you should be able to alternate going out or at least give you an hour or two to do something for you.

He was away from you for half of a day , honestly I’d assume he was doing something he has no business doing and I’d be first to say it

All I know is that I'm not finna argue with your ass at 2am. Get your ass in the bed. In the morning you're gonna get the fuck up and we're gonna proceed with our plans Mr. Party animal. And when we get home we're gonna sit down and talk about wtf that was about because HELL NO that's not acceptable to me. You don't say you're going out for a few hours and come home 12hrs later. You want a beer with friends then be a responsible adult and be good about your word so that I can trust that if you say you're gonna be gone for x time then I can expect you home at this time. He's a father and a husband, and he needs to act like it.

12 hours he’s out, girl make your plans you also deserve 12 hours out alone you are totally ok in your feelings. That’s rude in my opinion! Especially he didn’t communicate and you literally have a newborn

I'd be furious. Even if he'd warned you he'd be back late. 12 hours???!! That's taking the p.

I like someone else's suggestion of getting a babysitter for 12 hours, except I'd make him do it without you and see what it's like.

I would be absolutely fuming too… your feelings are totally valid and it’s sad that he clearly doesn’t respect them!!

Completely valid feelings. My partner goes out, as do I but it’s pre agreed, on the calendar and we know what time the other one is back and where they are going and who with.

For us it’s either come back sober for bath and bed or don’t bother!!

I think you should book a spa day snd go out for the day next weekend and leave him with the kids and dog!!

12 hours is taking the p*ss, imagine if roles were reversed he would flip a lid.

The only time my child’s father is gone like that is when he is working (he works at a recording studio so there are days where he is gone for 12 hours sitting in the studio, it’s rare and he knows I hate it) but your feelings are valid and I would be pissed. Let him do the driving tomorrow and take yourself a good nap.

I would be fuming! My husband had a work reunion yesterday, people he hasn’t seen for ages and he only went for 2 hours, had one drink and came back for bedtime because doing bedtime for two under 3 is difficult. He’d never disrespect me like that and if he did I’d be packing his bags.

Your feelings are definitely valid and he shouldn’t have gone out for that length of time if he said that he was going to be back. It’s ok to go out for a couple of drinks with friends but 12 hours is not on. I agree with the suggestions of taking some time for yourself next weekend and do something you enjoy.
I hope you manage to have a good time at your mums and enjoy the time with her and your little ones. And happy Mother’s Day 🥰

12 hours is farr too long! Would be okay if it’s a one off / special occasion

Your feelings are completely valid. It’s hard to be alone with newborn for so long plus you have another child and a dog to care for. When my husband or I want time to ourselves, we ask each other in advance and it’s agreed upon. We plan for the time one of us is away and also check in on each other during that time in case the person with the baby needs anything.

Next time he wants to go out, ask him for how long and then agree on how long. This way you can set expectations and plan for your day. He had already committed to going to your mom’s so he is still expected to go - being hung over or tired is not a valid reason for him to not go. Also he doesn’t get to sleep most the next day since he has obligations as a father and your significant other.

Now that he’s already had his fun, so should you in the near future.

Also “a few beers in the sun” but comes back at 2am - the sun had set a long time ago 😒