Help😭

Hi, sorry you’re going through this… sounds as though he’s projecting his own cheating / lies or miscellaneous activities outside the house onto you because he knows how highly you respect him / value your relationship. He knows you didn’t t cheat, he knows that if he continues to hold this over your head you won’t look to deep into his actions …. Be very careful here, your young and starting a family, things like this can’t be taught over the internet just start thinking long and hard about the one of partner you want and how you want them to treat you and how you want your relationship to go moving forward…. Build up your boundaries, respect yourself more …. And do not let this man continue in this way, your living YOUR life not a life with him… at the end of the day you have your children to think about and yourself as a woman…. Goodluck

I would also suggest couples counseling. It can do wonders if you both commit.

In my eyes, flirting and then holding someone’s hand is a betrayal for trust. I understand that you don’t see it as a big deal. But he does and I would. What have you guys done to grow the trust beck? It’s not just magically going to return or be headed by time.

He does seem like he is having some red flag behaviors and maybe not treating you right. Is this relationship worth saving? If you want to save it, 100% to counseling

is say it’s worth it for the babes but that’s all at the moment. when we are good we are so good but honestly the bad times just outweigh the good.

even before i did what i did i wasn’t really ever aloud out because he didn’t trust me from the get go because i have been in a relationship before him and he hadn’t.
i did see it as a big deal when it happened. and i proved to him that he could trust me, i stopped going to uni, i haven’t been out since even though i know i wouldn’t do anything because i never meant anything in a way that would be disloyal, but yeah i haven’t been out since, i let him have time to deal with his emotions and he chose to come back to me, we did couples counselling whilst i was pregnant, i have tried and tried to prove to him he can trust me but he never did before and he never will now.

on top of that, i do everything for him. i go above and beyond for him. i practically act like his mother, i never go out anywhere, lost all my friends -

- don’t speak to anyone. the only friends i have or speak to live miles away and there’s only two of them, he doesn’t trust me around girls so only have one friend that’s a girl, doesn’t trust me around men. if i went out he would probably withdraw himself from me.

judges me for having a past and being sexually active as a teenager because he wasn’t but then gets mad at me that he’s knocked my confidence so much now that im just not sexual anymore

i tried everything to make him forgive, believe me. but when i got pregnant, making myself feel so small so he would forgive me for something i can’t undo because so small compared to creating a healthy mindset for my children to be around.

This post and your comments are screaming red flags at me.
You had to leave uni? He doesn’t trust you? Doesn’t let you go out? Doesn’t let you have friends? If this was a member of your family telling you this about their partner what would you think?
He is controlling and emotionally abusive. Please leave this “man”

Yeah this is sounding more and more like a bad situation. He does not seem like a good guy tbh.

problem is he is the most incredible dad ever. and when we are good there is no where i would rather be than with him

Please go listen to the song good days by Marielle Kraft.

You shouldn't stay just because when things are good they're really good when everything else you're saying shows he is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I've been there and the good is always so good but it's not worth it. I think a good exercise is to picture your daughters in the future if you have them or imagine if you did and thing of them being in a relationship just like yours, coming and telling you all these things he's saying to make them feel unworthy and to manipulate the situations in her favour and making her doubt herself and feel at fault for everything. Would you want her to stay or would you encourage her to get out and remind her how much better she deserves

Maybe you need a different counsellor if you truly want to continue with him. Make sure to talk about these things you mentioned here. Also, He can still be a good dad outside of being with you.

This is not OK, his behaviour is honestly awful, manipulative even!

You DID NOT CHEAT! Holding someone's hand is not cheating, I don't care what anyone says! It's ridiculous that he is using this against you to this degree! He made the decision to be with you, so if he can't let it go and move on, then I'd honestly let him pack that bag and leave, I ain't got time for that shit.

honestly 🤦🏻‍♀️ i get how it’s disloyal because i would hate the idea of him holding another woman’s hand but when your with your mates and your drunk walking up a hill that’s just what you have to do🤣 i didn’t do much as even hug the bloke.

but i know that it hurt him so i went above and beyond trying to convince him to trust me again and forgive me (even therapy) and he still even when i was pregnant never let me forget it.

oh well🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh gosh, it's only holding someone's hand. If that's all that happened then he really needs to get over himself. I think you need to have another chat and very much be like 'look, Its history, if you can't get over it then this is never going to work . But if we wipe the slate clean, you can't keep bringing it up. It's done now, I'm sorry it happened but this is my last apology and the last time I want to talk about it. Let's forget it and move on and focus on our life together'

If he chose to stay with you then, it's on him to get over it now.