Bi husband?
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well that’s cheating, why are you still with him if you’ve caught him sexting most of your relationship? bi or straight, female or male, it’s still cheating, idk if you’ve just forgiven him bcos you think it’s different to if he was doing that with a woman but it really isn’t and he clearly doesn’t respect you. it’s fine for him to be bi, of course it is, but it doesn’t excuse him for cheating with other men x
Bisexuals can be monogamous just because you have more options as a bisexual person doesn’t mean you always use it seems like he wants more of a “lavender marriage” type relationship maybe he’s afraid of what people think.
I’d never be with a “bi husband” or one that sexts other men. I have boundaries. Not sure why you’re with him unless you’ve just accepted it…
He has urges he says but doesn’t want to explore or actually be with a man. At first it was definitely something I thought would stop but then we had kids and it happened more often than before. I was also trying to be understanding as he was curious and I wanted him to figure out what he’s really into to know I’ll be enough for him or if he will always have urges for men too. Now it’s just way harder. Idk I guess it’s easy to say just leave until you’re in it and have kids to think about.
It’s not easy. But as soon as I caught my partner looking/texting other men I did leave. I said that from personal experience because I knew I deserved better than that and there were kids involved.
This is very difficult situation to be in. On one hand, “it is just sexting.” But I know what a slippery slope that can be. One thing can easily be lead to another. For me, I don’t equate sexual exclusivity to loyalty and commitment. So, I would not have an issue with my partners or spouse seeing or being with other people. I would say, just communicate your feelings and know what your boundaries are. It is not wrong to want sexual exclusivity, but I do think regardless of your orientation, it isn’t the natural default for most people, that is why cheating is so dang common.
Staying faithful is not going to be harder or easier for someone if they have a different sexuality. Staying faithful is a choice, not a mistake, not because they need something they are missing because if they need something they are missing then they should always let their partner know and end the relationship thus starting the life they do desire to have. 12 years is a long time for him to have been cheating as well. I’m sorry he has but now you have to choose the life you want to live. If all that time he has cheated, kept things from you and had no problem doing so then if it was me I wouldn’t be able to continue with someone like that as I’d constantly be in doubt, not knowing how to trust and not knowing how to move forward. What he has done will never change but it’s up to you if you want to stay. The only thing I can say is it’ll haunt you for a long time
Leaving absolutely isn't the easy option and I don't think anyone would say it is. However, like Dionne says you have to now choose the life you want to live. He's been unfaithful for a long, long time. Whatever excuse he's given, he hasn't respected you or your marriage. I personally believe there is never a good enough excuse to "stay for the kids" because I strongly believe children need and deserve to grow up in a positive, loving environment with both parents happy and respecting each other, even if that means those parents are separated. Honestly, from this post it kinda sounds like you're going to lowkey continue to make excuses for him and stay with him through whatever, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, I think you have some tough questions you need to ask yourself and potentially some tough decisions to make, so best of luck!
Doesn’t matter if someone is Bi or straight, if he is gona cheat he is gona cheat. If you have already caught him sexting other people why didn’t you question him, if you did and he said he is straight then he is a dick and you should leave him.
Your man is gay. He’s just not fully accepted that yet. Your choice is whether you stand by him through the discovery, for the kids, or part ways, co-parent amicably and you find yourself someone who only has eyes for you and treats you as you deserve.
Girl he’s not bi he might just be “bi”for You because it’s too late to just leave now he’s def not proud to be gay or to come out as gay do not let him use you as a lavender marriage
Has nothing to do with him being bisexual. That’s cheating. Divorce period💅🏻
If you’re with someone that’s Bi . He has to be really good at communicating. I’m talking open about his feelings ect . Because the part that saves the relationship. If he is not communicating about his feelings which is very very important when your with someone that’s Bi. Because if he is not communicating not being very open. That’s when the doubt comes into play and the distrust. He has got to communicate or at least be more open about what he is going through or why. Then thier may not be away to save to relationship. Now I’m someone I love a man rather he’s Bi straight . Whatever else he chooses to identify as , but if he isn’t being truthful and he isn’t communicating there is no saving the relationship.
I’m bisexual my fiancés not but I’ve never stepped out of our relationship either. We both freely get on each others phones and have passwords to everything. And it’s been this way since the beginning. Being bisexual isn’t an excuse to do anything.
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I feel like he’s done this so many times because he’s never actually been with a man to know if it’s something he is really into. I’m wondering if he could just go try it then he can honestly say yes I like men too I might want to explore more or he will say no it’s not for me and be able to get rid of those urges all together. I also don’t think I could stay with him though if he does go out to be with a man. I think he’s just never wanted to come out and have his whole life flipped upside down but I also don’t want to continue like this.
He didn’t really start thinking of men like that until a little before we got together so I feel he’s just never had the chance to figure it out for himself.
I understand being bisexual doesn’t have anything to do with being faithful but if you are curious and scared to come out but keep having urges I feel like the only option is to step back and figure out really what you are into
You're absolutely right Incog, it sounds like your role in this now is tell him either he chooses to stay with you and remain 100% faithful, or he decides he needs to explore this side of himself (which is perfectly valid) but he does that without you. He can't have everything because that incredibly unfair on you! He really needs to think about what he wants in life and stop messing you around
Bi or not, he's sexting other people wtf, dump his ass.
Sexuality isn't an excuse to be unfaithful. If you choose to be in a committed, monogamous relationship then your sexuality is kind of irrelevant 🤷🏻♀️ still valid, but irrelevant because cheating is cheating no matter who it's with. If your husband is being unfaithful in any way it's not because he's bi, it's because he's a dick. You allowing this isn't you being understanding of his sexuality, it's you being (and I truly mean this is the nicest, most sensitive possible way) a bit of a doormat 😅 personally I'd be telling him to fuck off and go be unfaithful to someone else, while you find someone who will treat you how you deserve!