FTM to a newborn

How often are they crying? Do they sleep? Normally babies are sleeping most of the day so please do speak to your midwife if you feel it’s a concerning amount of crying. Xx

Hey, first of all congratulations. It is a tough gig at times especially in the early days but I'm sure you are doing all you can for the lo. Have you spoken to your midwife or health visitor? They may be able to offer further support and put you in touch with local groups that can help.
From my own experience with my babies. I found with my first I was feeding to the "rules" as I was told anymore and she's comfort feeding. This was bad advice as actually what she needed was more milk. Comforters come with an on going debate but my advice is do what's best for you and baby. If baby settles better with a comforter let baby have one. Some babies like to be wrapped up tight. Both mine hated it. They preferred cellular blankets. And the freedom to stretch out. Have you tried any white noise? We used Ewen the dream sheep with my second he loved it. Both kids had a baby monitor that played white noise (which we used from birth) and lullabies which we used as they got older.

My inbox is open if you need a chat. It is so hard being a new mum especially with so much advice out there some of which can be a little scary when you're new to it all. You've spent months taking care of your bump and it doesn't stop there, now you have a tiny human to love and protect. Make sure you keep reaching out for help though but also don't be afraid to say to people I just need some rest if you feel overwhelmed with visitors wanting to see the baby. It can be quite exhausting too. X

she sleeps throughout the night with only being woken for feeds and she tends to sleep a good chunk of the day time. We seem to get to around 2pm and it’s just chaos until 5ish where nothing will settle her other than more milk - i think she may be cluster feeding.

Ahhh this is called the witching hour! It’s completely normal for babies to have a super grizzly couple of hours in the evening and you’re doing nothing wrong at all!!! As said above if you ever want to try a pacifier then do so it could definitely help, also go for a walk around the house with them they like to feel the movements to help calm them xx

thank you for this. I think you hit the nail on the head…I’m trying to stick to the guidance on feeding every 2-3 hours but she has begun cluster feeding and she is cueing for milk more often and I feel reluctant to give her it because of the guidance. We are still learning what works for us and her and it’s challenging to say the very least! I’m not sure if or when it gets easier but right now it feels impossible ☹️

I remember sitting on my sofa crying thinking why couldn't I get my baby to stop crying. I said to my partner she's been fed she shouldn't need feeding again for a few hours. In the end I just fed her and it was so much easier. I made myself a huge lunchbox of nuts and things to snack on whilst i fed her and made sure I had a big bottle of water or juice to keep me going. With my second I just fed when he wanted feeding and he was much easier to settle.

Hey, I'm a nanny with 15 years experience.
The only person you need to listen to is your baby.
Remember that guidance is exactly that, just guidance. If your baby is telling you that it needs more milk only half an hour after it just had milk, then that is exactly what you need to do.

Read up feeding on demand. You can do this for both breast and bottle feeding.

I also wanted to let you know about a free online new parent event I am hosting. There is so much support that you would find really helpful. All the presentations are recorded so you watch the ones you want when you can on the day. https://thechildcarenavigator.com/bump-to-1stbirthday-summit211853

Keep yourself calm and do a loop:
Feed
Cuddle
Rocking
Pacing
Bouncing
Bath together
Go for a walk
Nappy
More feeding
Try everything again
Hum
Rub back
Sing
Deep breathes out
Try everything again
Find a little loop of 3 or 4 that are helpful
Have someone else do the loop so you get a break