I hate my husband but want another baby

So my husband and I are not getting on at the moment and tbh I don’t think he will ever change and I cba to even attempt it or even put my effort in him anymore. However I have a toddler and would love to give him a Sibling. I really want my children to have the same dad but as far as my husband or men are concerned I have no interest.. is it a good idea to have another baby and then leave my husband? Please don’t judge me my husband has cheated in the past and I don’t trust him anymore hence why I cba with him anymore but I really want my baby to have a sibling

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Personally I wouldn’t have a baby with a person I can’t stand especially if you want to leave. Go out there and find a a partner who would love to build a family with you and vice versa. You deserve better than that and your kid and future kid as well x

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Ignoring all the logical ways that it would be a nightmare to have a baby with someone you supposedly hate it’s so unfair to put a child in that position on purpose

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The think of him as a sperm donor.. I don’t really want to meet another man or get married again.. my husband and I are still married just a very rough patch which neither of us care to fix anymore so whether this marriage will last or not god knows.. but I have to think of my biological clock too as I am in my 30s

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I don’t think a biological clock is an excuse to have a child with a man you don’t like and he doesn’t like you really. There’s nothing wrong with being an only child either. Plus, you have this child then what? He’s not going to really care about you when you’re pregnant and you’re going to do everything alone. Is that what you want your son growing up to think is okay and acceptable for a man to do? This isn’t judgment, just the truth. You guys don’t like one another, don’t make another child from that. Your son deserves parents who love each other and should grow up to see that.

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My biggest question/concern around this is, do you plan on getting his permission to have another baby? That is something that you absolutely have to agree on. And if he agrees to it, then surely that shows there's hope for your relationship? I would be looking at couples counseling before considering having another baby with him. And if he doesn't want another baby with you, then maybe you should just end it now to have more chance to find someone else. Your child having a full biological sibling is not a good enough reason to do this.

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No way, you're crazy to even consider this! Why is it SO important that your kids have the same dad? So what if they don't! My 3rd has a different dad to my older 2, but they absolutely adore her, it never even crosses my 11 year old sons mind that she is only his half sister, she's simply just his sister! I very much doubt your husband would want to even have another baby with you anyway if he knows you'll leave afterwards, as let's face it why would he want to pay child support for 2 when he could just do it for one!

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He does want another baby and has been pressuring me to have another child for the past few months but I didn’t feel ready as I had a difficult labour and I wanted a slightly bigger age gap before adding another baby as I am sole carer of my child and husband is always working. We have issues but he is the bury ur head in the sand kind of person and I just feel I don’t have the same love for him anymore based on certain things he has and has not done. I just don’t no because yes I do want another baby but I don’t no if with him but I’m pressuring myself due to age and not really wanting to meet anyone else

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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4

20

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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25

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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8

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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12

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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14

Do you say "fruit" or "fruits"

Eg. I'm going to buy some ..........

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5

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