He yelled at her in the store
Yesterday my boyfriend & I went to the store with our daughter for dinner. She was standing on the back of the cart while we’d were looking at the food. The cart went a little bit in the air because of her standing on it but it didn’t tip over & my boyfriend yelled at her so loud in the store everyone turned around & looked. I was so embarrassed & angry at him because I never yell at her especially in the store. She ran up to me upset I comforted her & told him that he shouldn’t have done that. It was wrong of him. He doesn’t see it as being wrong. I told him that’s trashy. He did it a few months ago in Walmart & I told him not to do it again. He’s mad at me & called me a bad mom because I told him not to yell at her then proceeded to say in a narcissistic tone that I wanted her to get hurt from the shopping cart I said no I don’t, you don’t have to yell at her you could’ve just told her to get off the cart. He then said this relationship is retarded. I said yeah it is. We had an agreement to never yell at her & to break the cycle when we became parents. He just doesn’t care anymore.
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yikes
Explaining to them helps a lot better than yelling
I feel as tho you see the red flags and you both made an agreement and he has yet to uphold that agreement. You need to do what is best for your peace as well as your daughters. As a child hearing my parents get loud would give me anxiety. At the time I didn't know what anxiety was, but as an adult I try not to yell at my children, because I don't want them to get that anxious feeling I did as a child.
I agree with Selina. Also if you feel the energy for it & want to try to address it, I would bring it up at a different time. “Hey I know you yelled because you were worried that she was going to tip the cart & fall but I feel like it’s hard for her to get you’re concerned if you’re just yelling. I’m only bringing it up because I know before we had spoke about wanting to not yell and break cycles. I know it’s hard and I’m not saying I’m perfect but yelling out of concern doesn’t help anyone.”
I would also say that calling you a bad mom was out of line and if he feels that way then a deeper discussion is needed because you have your own concerns. Just some advice. Overall if he isn’t trying to work on himself you can’t make him and may need to make a tough call on whether you want to own that & let you kid learn we just take that level of disrespect. As someone who is also breaking the cycle, my partner & I struggle at times but we both try & support each other
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