Baby prefers Dad over me

This is so hard for me to write as I don’t know anyone else that has ever experienced this (and hopefully come out the other end).

I have a 7 month old son with my wonderful partner. We are first time parents.

However, my son prefers him over me.

It is noticeable too, my partner has even mentioned it (not in a mean way).

I do EVERYTHING with my son; feed the majority of his meals, read to him, sing to him, play with him, bath him, go to sensory with him etc etc. Not saying my partner doesn’t help because he does.
My partner is very involved but despite this I still give the majority of the care to our son. My partner is also training at the moment so isn’t doing really long days like he used to so he is around a lot (but obviously much less than me).

We are particularly struggling with bedtimes. This is where it is most noticeable.

Almost every time I put my son to bed he won’t settle. We both do the exact same routine with him and have a set bedtime for our son when we know he is tired.
I need to clarify I am not breast feeding my son so it’s not a milk related issue.

He is acting out with me, fussing, crying, kicking etc. My partner holds him the exact same way within moments he is totally settled.
I want to stress that I am not doing anything different in these situations. It’s the same amount of milk, the same position he is held in, the same comforting techniques etc. It is identical to his Dads way of putting him down.

I’m not sure if this is a connection issue I’m having with my son or whether he just prefers Dad and that’s how it’s going to be!

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I don't have any advice, I'm just here to say he loves you so much. Take rest in the time that is with daddy and enjoy some alone time xx

So, my son (now 3) acts out way more with me, however I don't feel like this is a preference. It can be that you are the safe place, so easier to act out. He also goes through phases of who he prefers and this has been happening since he was about 6 months.
You're not doing anything wrong, and likely this isn't a preference.
Additionally, you are mum and even though you aren't breastfeeding, your son may still see you and him as the same person, this isn't necessarily the case with dad, especiallyas you sepnd more time, it seems, with him.

My baby settles fine for me same as dad. However he smiles and laughs soo much more at dad! He looks at dad and just starts laughing his head off. Yet I try to make him laugh and he’s like hmm nah thanks. lol. He’s a ball of absolute joy when he can see his dad !

You are not doing anything wrong. My son is the same, I don’t even mind it cus this gives me some alone time. I do the feeding, BF he is. Meals, diapers still my son prefers his dad for playtime and this is okay tbh my partner swings him, bounce him which I can’t and he gets tired have good sleep 🤣

my partner also does rough play which he LOVES. I can’t because baby boy is 23 lbs and I have a bad shoulder 😆

My daughter (now 2 and a half) has bounced between preferring me to her daddy or her daddy to me so many times over the last couple of years that I now just find it very normal and not especially upsetting, as it's totally not personal and is always a temporary thing. Most of my friends with toddlers have had exactly the same. It's definitely a bit upsetting at first and feels like being rejected or failing, but honestly I think they all go through these wee phases of preferring one parent (or grandparent etc.) and then it switches before you know it. Hard not to take it personally but try not to, you're doing an amazing job and your baby loves you so much. Xxx

My son (now almost 3) was a daddy’s boy until 15 months and has been a mummy’s boy ever since. They definitely go through phases, it’s hard when you’re in it but as some of the others have said, try and take that time out to yourself and he’ll no doubt be a mummy’s boy before you know it!

I completely can relate! My 7 month old started showing preference for my husband about a month ago. It was slow at first; he’d walk by and scream and cry after him. Now it’s even happened at night a few times and that makes me feel extra crappy because for a while I was hanging my hat on believing I’m the one he wants more for comfort.

We both work from home and I spend a little more time I would say with him. My mom stays with us during day to help. Son is very active and loves to play and my husband is great with that. However I breastfeed and put him down for all his naps and most bedtimes recently. Maybe the boring stuff?

I feel reassured in a way that I’m not the only one. And hoping it’s not always going to be this way! Trying to get out of my head!

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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