FTM 2 months in and I’m just starting to enjoy motherhood kinda

I’m a ftm and my baby just around 10 weeks. I have to be honest I kinda feel like it’s just starting to hit me I’m a whole ass mom. I love my baby he really is the best but I found myself saying wtf did I do everything change in a matter of minutes, my whole world revolves around this baby. I look at my body and I feel like I ruined it. I’m in my twenties and my friends are traveling and partying and at first I was like I don’t miss that but I kinda do. I can’t even drink or smoke because I’m ebf. Which is my choice of course. Last but not least I love love love my boyfriend he really is a great dad and tries his best but I finally understand why they say a baby will never love any more then their mom because no matter how much he tries the baby is attached to me, he knows my body my smell my comforts for 9 months. Idk if this ppd or what but it’s like this is truly how I’m feeling. I prayed so hard for my baby and I really feel blessed to have him but I’m starting to feel a piece of me has died and I don’t know what to do with that feeling.

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I totally understand where you are coming from. I worried that I didn't bond the right way since I had a csection. But after talking to someone, I've come to understand that a csection doesn't make me any less his mom and he doesn't care how he came out.
I think it's normal to say that I'll enjoy motherhood more when.. he is sleeping through the night.. when he is eating solids.. when I return back to work part-time.. but I have to remind myself that i need to be present in the now.
Right now, they still don't realize they aren't part of us. We give them everything they need. I believe that is one of our superpowers!
At the end of the day, if you are questioning if it could be ppd, then talk to someone. There is no shame in asking for help. They can be part of your village.

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Postpartum

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I feel like just a milk cow

Hi I have a 16 day old via c section, I'm a FTM never having been around babies before as I am the youngest of my household and from a small family. My husband is fantastic with our little one. But ever since I've had the baby I just feel like the only thing I'm good for is producing milk. I feel disconnected from my husband like the only reason he's around is because am producing milk. We were having some issues before the baby and we're struggling it took a while to feel like he was onboard even though he said he was from the moment we found out. I dunno if I'm feeling like a spear part because I'm lacking confidence with baby or because I feel like he wouldn't mind being a single dad. Is this postpartum hormones or something else?

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When does it get better?

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