Visitors after birth

I wanted to see my mum as soon as I left the hospital! I wished she could of been there, but she was having chemo so couldn't manage it so My mum and dad were waiting on our doorstep with a bottle of champs and I couldn't wait to see them! But everyone else it was just a chore! 😂 husbands family was the same before my daughter was born then acted like they were family of the year! hoping no one will care about the second and we can just get on with it tbh haha. We ended up just doing like 2 full days with people coming every other hour then was done! They did bring presents so it was half
Okay! 😂

Oh yeah my mum was at the hospital with my first - after the c section I just wanted my own mummy for a cuddle! And she will be having my oldest this time round But that’s what I’m hoping for this baby that everyone will leave us alone for a few days 🫣😂 especially so my little big can adjust without family members he doesn’t see himself coming in I just feel bad for my brother that my mum isn’t being so understanding when she was very supportive of me saying I didn’t want visitors , maybe it’s Cus she knew she was number 1 visitor with me 🫣

Exactly this happened to me. I had expressed that I didn’t want to see anyone for a week or two after having my first. My family were a lot more understanding (and I did actually want them round sooner than 1/2 weeks in the end). However my partners family weren’t understanding whatsoever. All I received from my mother in law were comments like “I hope it won’t be too long before X can meet his sister” (my partner has an 11 year old from a previous relationship - who has ADHD / autism and is a handful, as much as I love him I just couldn’t have coped with that after birth). In the end he actually got dropped off at the hospital the day after my C-section when I was in so much pain, against my wishes, to come and meet my daughter. His mother in law and grandma also turned up about 4 days after I was home… announcing the grandma had COVID / was unwell so would come in but not hold the baby…! My mother in law doesn’t live locally either (6 hours away) so it wasn’t just a flying visit and

Haha I think girls and mums is a special bond! Plus I needed a glass of champs! I didn't have a c section though so I can imagine it was painful. Plus when my husbands family came round I had to wait on them? I was thinking I am bleeding, wearing an adult nappy and can hardly
Sit on my fanny but yeh I'll make you another tea... 😂 I think it's whatever works for you! This time I am chilling out with a toddler too it's just a lot of change for them too and they still need to be fussed over! I've had friends recently had babies and I have not even asked the question as I know how nice it is too just have time in your bubble when it's your first xxx

Had to stay overnight 🫠. I’ve received the same sort of comments this time from his family. I’m trying not to think about it or else I’ll cry but it really ruined my first few days postpartum 😔. Birth is SUCH a different experience for everyone and I just can’t understand how even though other mums (like in laws, parents etc) may have had a different opinion and wanted their relatives round asap… how they can’t grasp the fact that not everyone feels like them and some new mums may want space to settle in as a family! You’d think going through it themselves, they’d understand but I found that wasn’t the case at all. X

After my first I rushed to see people and wanted to be up and about, but I actually made recovery worse for myself and my stitches ended up gaping and getting an infection. This time I won’t be rushing and for the first week we won’t be having any visitors it will just be us settling as a family of 4. After that we will have visitors come to us and if they want us to go to them then they won’t get to see us until I’m over 6 weeks pp and as good as fully recovered. I will not put someone else’s needs before my own this time around. Definitely if you want time as a family with no visitors you are allowed that. Other people have no special treatment in seeing a baby as soon a they are born. Seeing a new baby is a privilege

Me and hubby have had this discussion too and having gone through infertility for 6 years, we are rightly putting ourselves first & have already told his parents, we want our own bubble until we’re ready for visitors. I never understand the hype with visitors wanting to come immediately, the baby isn’t going anywhere!! A week or two isn’t gonna make a difference so you’re not wrong at all and I think the newborn skin to skin in those two weeks is so important. I’m not here to people please so will only do what’s best for us, if people have an issue I will distance myself accordingly and let them in less during the process. Stick to your guns 💪🏼 my in laws can be really overbearing so I’ve even said to hubby that if it means we hold off telling them the babies here, we do that so we get that initial space and then announce it when we’re ready.

when it’s your first baby I think it’s a good idea not to tell people when you go to the hospital or immediately after you’ve had a baby if you don’t want to of course.
We did that with our first cause didn’t want constant texts and it was nice and relaxing.

With my 1st I had no visitors, not a single one for 7 days, originally I said 2 weeks but ended up feeling better after my traumatic labor/csection so decided to invite people over a week early
However when I first told people no visitors I got some pretty nasty comments from the inlaws
My side was a lot more understanding I have 4 sisters. They and mam completely understood as they all have children
My inlaws were nasty and mean. Mostly to my husband about me
I got all the usual, we were depriving them of that special bond. I was mean and cruel, I was punishing them, I was going to make their granddaughter not know them
But let me tell you, the best thing I ever did, it gave us some much-needed time to just be a new family of 3
I had time to heal and deal with some pretty strong emotions
I WILL be doing the same this time round as well, as I have a 3-year-old that needs time to adjust to her brother alongside me and my husband

They have already started on the comments, but we are firm on this, it isn't something they are going to change by moaning
Not everyone wants people there right away and some people so
Each to their own

But you aren't depriving anyone, by saying no visitors, you arent going to damage any bonds

And people will most certainly get over it
But you wont get a 2nd chance to redo the time

We live far from family so aren't expecting visitors straight away, although my dad and step mum will be visiting for a week of my due date staying nearby to help hopefully with school runs for my eldest. I'm just hoping they don't expect us to host
My husbands family are all abroad but we have discussed that I don't want any video calls straight away and that we should wait a few hours and settle together before we tell anyone baby is here so we have that time together

Tell them they’re welcome at 3am when you need the rest 🫠