In laws ugh

You could possibly say that you are struggling a bit with separation anxiety and you’d much rather her coming to visit the baby at the house, so you can get some bits done(or just relax). This way you can see what they are like together and you might be ok in time for your MIL to take the baby for outings. This is just my opinion tho, my LO was quite unwell at birth and o still struggle being without him 2years later. Hope you find something that works for you xx

Completely normal to want to keep your baby close, I feel the same! I do think it’s a bit weird when people want to have someone’s baby on their own, even if it’s their grandchild - they don’t have this entitlement to want to have ‘alone time’ or ‘bonding time’ with your baby. I’d either flip it back to her and say, why do you want baby on their own so much? If they say it’s to give you a break or xyz, just say, that’s very kind to offer, but what I would find helpful is this... or just say, if we need anyone to babysit, we will ask, but we’ve got it covered for now and baby is happiest with mummy and daddy. Maybe talk to your partner as well because he should be helping out these boundaries in place with his family!

completely agree like why do you want my child on their own very strange and then when I say I’m okay it’s always ‘you put pressure on yourself’ god forbid I want to be a mum haha xx

So weird!! I’d maybe say, it’s kind of you to be looking out for me but I’m actually feeling a bit pressured by being asked all the time, and let them deal with it! You know what’s best for you and your baby and like you said, not putting pressure on yourself to not want to be a part from your baby! Xx

My MIL keeps “offering” to let baby stay the night. We exclusively breastfeed and baby gets up at least twice overnight. It’s not even logical. I also don’t need that help. I just laugh and say no thank you… it’s always so awkward.

I do like the other comment about saying how asking so much puts a lot of pressure on you.

And I completely agree it’s weird for anyone to say they need or want “alone” time. This isn’t a normal or natural thing to crave or say…

Good luck ❤️

i genuinely don’t want a break though we’ve got a good routine in place, she hardly cries, i follow her cues, I’ve moved 2.5 hours from home so we go to classes for me to meet friends I have none of my family here and the closest thing to me is my baby so i would much prefer her to be with me

it’s great that you can see it this way, but some people don’t have the best relationships with their wider family, difficult past experiences etc and sometimes that context and experiences that all differ from family to family/person to person is maybe what leads us to all have different opinions on things like this. And also, regardless of if you have a positive relationship with any member of family, it’s ok to both be happy to have a few hours away from the baby, or not. I think if incog’s in laws do care about her mental health and wellbeing as you suggest, then they’ll understand what support she feels she needs and for her it isn’t being away from baby at the moment. I don’t think there is a wrong way to look at it, it’s just whatever works for you and your family! I saw my grandparents once or twice a year for all of my life, and it’s not affected my bond or relationship with them at all, nor did they ever want ‘alone time’ with me, but that’s just my experience x

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