How do i deal/stand with 12 year old stepson? Comments explanation..

My 12YO SS barely acknowledges me (stepmum of nearly 10 years). I don't know if its an age thing but ill say "hey mate" and he replies "yeah" and im like ok...

He is rough with my daughter (3). He was winding her up and then she cried and he pushed her physically so she fell backwards. So some force.

He always winds her up and then when she gets agitated he tells her to "shut up" even though hes the one who's been winding her up.

His dad (my husband) always tells him to stop winding her up. And hes seen him barely acknowledge me.

When hes here he spends most of the time on his games in his room and then comes down winds my daughter up and disappears.

Do I just keep to myself when hes here? Or do I make a point of saying hes being rude? My husband says nothing when this things happened. Or any other advice would be great.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I’d address him because he’s old enough to know not to be rough about a baby, he also has no business being rude, he doesn’t have to be lovey dovey but he can be polite. You husband should also address him sternly and say the same thing.

I would address both his mom and dad and have a family meeting the 3 of you with him if you can. I’m sure his mom wouldn’t want him acting like that to you seeing as you’ve been in his life since he was a toddler. If I knew my daughter was being rude to her step mom I would have a talk with her for sure

12 is a sucky and difficult age! Literally in the trenches with my daughter she’s grunty as hell and very much likes to be alone - she also winds up my little ones (4&2) then gets annoyed at them when they react. I think it’s developmentally such a tricky time to navigate for them!
Maybe having an open conversation about the root cause? I know she has a lot going on right now and often sees the little ones attention as taking something away from her. Older children are still as egotistical as toddlers! It’s not acceptable but maybe going in guns blazing might not be the most productive xx

I don’t have a step kid, but I do have a 12yo who has a step dad (my partner) and ANY TIME she’s behaved in a way that disrespects him, I’ve stepped in and corrected the behaviour. So your husband needs to step up. It’s not your job to correct the behaviour and you shouldn’t be copping it either, you don’t deserve the stress of it.

Your husband needs to have your back with any concerns regarding the child.

I am the middle man between my daughter and partner for any concerns or problems & I listen to both of them and talk to each of them to buffer out any issues. Including correcting my daughter when she is speaking rudely or doing the wrong thing.

12 is old enough to know better. Don’t shrug it off with “it’s a teenage thing” or “they’re transitioning”..

Yes.. those things are true but a 12yo is old enough to know right from wrong or atleast learn right from wrong given different situations.

are you ok?!

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

Nursery ideas

Guys I need help! This is going to be my daughter’s nursery and I want to make it cute. Help me find an aesthetic look or a good layout to place some furniture/cribs etc!!

Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

Blw

Hi I am running out off ideas on what to make for Lil 14 month old for breakfast lunch and dinner if anyone have any resipes would be great to try my boy with them

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.