Feeling like a single parent in a relationship

It's crazy but this literally seems like the norm. I became single when my baby was 4 months old but I was exactly the same. Doing everything and even on his days off he didn't want to help. Its very isolating and overwhelming. I feel you Mama xx

oh it’s so isolating. And sometimes he’ll just make me feel bad for “moaning” or “not being able to handle things” like raising a child is so easy. He wouldn’t know because he’s not doing it 😤

How old is your baby? SAME. I have us switch every other day for putting our son down and being responsible for the afternoon routine. Many times it still lands on Mama, but at least I have him participating too as he wanted to be a father and all these duties come with it.

1 of us should get a solid nights sleep to be able to function and not it just be 1 parent carry all the load.

Tell him when you plan to step out or shower and he can take the duties on, or task him with it. Unfortunately Ive had to lay things out and ask/tell him what I need him to do.

It's exhausted 😩 and I agree they don't know. It's not moaning, it's called trying to express your feelings in the hope that you'll get some help. Honestly Mama, I feel you. Chin up. You've got this 💪🏻

mines 8 months very soon. That’s a good system. Glad it’s mainly working out for you!

yeah it seems like this needs to be the case

Have him solely responsible on a Sunday regularly so he can understand what it truly takes. Take care of groceries, go to library, workout, see family. Step out of house.

I had this exact conversation with my husband when my son was like 2 months old. I told him I shouldn't feel like a single mom when im married. My husband is still basically the same but will now sometimes help with putting our son to bed. Or if I need to do something and my son is being a barnacle, then my husband will take him for a few minutes. That's about it. My husband does work his regular weekday job, but he also works a few other on call jobs too. Otherwise, his life hasn't changed much. He has his hobbies and other activities, hangs out with his buddies basically every day, sometimes makes it home for dinner. At this point I actually don't mind, maybe I've just accepted thing, because it's easier if I do it all anyway; I'd have to tell him how to do things and then still fix it after, so it's just easier this way. Plus, most men aren't necessarily baby savvy.

I'm in the exact same situation. My partner was great the first few weeks. But he is really struggling with anxiety & depression, so I'm left to deal with our 6 month old on my own most the time. I can't remember the last time he changed a nappy. I went back to work 12/13weeks pp (2 days office, 3 days from home), I am completely exhausted x

Now that my son is 21 months he takes him to go play outside on his scheduled days or when I need the time to cook. When he was a little baby it seems men aren't as engaged because they cant play. If he has a weekly out with friends you should be able to have same courtesy to have time outside the house without baby as well. We had this discussion in therapy. It still leans heavily on his freedom though.

If you have a YMCA close by consider signing up to have 1.5 hours of childcare a day while you have "you time" at their facility. This has worked for me on weekend mornings when Im solo parenting most of the time.

This is too common that the father works and expects the mother to work 24/7 because she doesn't have a traditional job.

I highly recommend resources like the book fair play and this Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner?igsh=NnYyNnkzdG53cGdp

There is discussion about the mental load and how to distribute the household fairly and how to start the conversation without causing issues.