Health visitor RANT

Right, I think I actually hate my health visitor, only met the women 5 times and she has managed to unlock a rage inside me that I did not know I had.

First visit, introduced herself and what she would be doing with me and my child you know, the basics. Fine, no issues. My partner was at work.

Second visit, started to off fine, she asked me how my mental health was and I said I was coping well for the majority, I do have some low days but my partner is my rock and has been amazing. She then went on for the next hour about how the man can do everything I can apart from breastfed and was listing all these things he can do, meanwhile, I’m sat there, saying my partner does all of these things and not to worry, trying to get her to go back to talking about my child. My partner was at work again at this visit too. I thought to myself after, maybe she’s seen a lot of partners not helping so she wants to make sure it’s not happening to me kind of thing.

3rd visit was just to weigh my child then she left, no issues, partner was at work.

4th visit happened, my partner was there for it, everything went okay to start, then she began mentioning things he can do, things she already said last time that I already clarified he does do for me. After she left I asked my partner what he thought of her as I thought I may be over thinking it but he did say he felt he was being picked on 🙃
My partner is very chill and for him to say that it could not of just been me overthinking it.

5th visit happened yesterday, my partner was there again with me, it went well, just when I think it will be a good visit we come to the end where we discuss when the next visit will be, she says a date and time and my partner said “that would be good as I’m not working that day”, I go into my kitchen to pick up my coffee and she asked me if that day and time is okay too and I said yes.
She leaves and my partner is too quiet…. I ask him if he’s okay and he said when he said that day would be good to her SHE ROLLED HER EYES AND HUFFED then she asked me if the date and time was okay. My partner said it was completely obvious she tried todo it when she thought he wasn’t looking.
My partner is the most caring, understanding, kind person I’ve ever met and now I want to just opt out of the visits all together and put in a complaint.

My midwives were bloody amazing and I wish I could have just had a few extra visits off them instead of having her.

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I told mine I didn't want/ need any more visits. You don't have to have them you can opt out. Mine did my head in too x

Is there any reason you're seeing a HV so often? You can definitely opt out if you're not happy with her!

Personally, I've found HVs pretty useless, other than running a local hub where I can weigh my baby. I feel like, because it's a fairly unregulated profession, you get a very mixed bag and their advice will usually be either something they learned from a script, or based on their personal experience rather than science or current best practices so often you'll get very outdated advice or an "I don't know, ask GP if you're worried".

This makes me feel really lucky. My HV is a Registered nurse and shes not been preachy or rude at all.
Other than the things she has to ask, its been very much led by my questions or concerns.

Im sorry you've had such a bad experience 😔

I don't think my almost 3 year old has seen the health visitor that many times and certainly not the same one more than twice. I would call the office and either request another HV or request no more appointments outside of the developmental reviews.
We have a shortage in our area so after the second visit at like 6 weeks we didn't see anyone until her 10 to 12 month review and then again at the 27 to 30 month review but was told if I had concerns to call and they'd arrange a visit.

Sorry I should have clarified, we are in Wales and she said at the first appointment wales has more HV visits? And he lost a lot of weight after birth due to him struggling to latch (but its not an issue now he’s a healthy weight)
How do I go about cancelling the visits? Do I just phone them?

Like how do I say no more visits without sounding like a dick? 😂

You could just say you feel like you don't need any more health visits but you will make sure you reach out if you need to?

I have had a fairly helpful health visitor thankfully. The only time she has treated me differently from when I was with my partner was when she asked me if I expected DV which I feel is obviously one she can’t ask whilst he’s in the house. But yeah I have heard a lot of people have very unhelpful HV. I just see them as a good time to get him weighed and make sure he is gaining plenty of weight and having the chart filled. Other than that I am not really fussed, I took an extra visit purely for the weigh in which I will have in 2 weeks and then another 4 weeks after that. Not sure if my area gets slightly more visits but it’s been good so far.

That's such a shame. Mine is amazing. I really feel that she includes me aswell as baby if that makes sense because sometimes appointments are.all about the baby and no one cares about mum. Pnd is a sneaky thing so I think maybe she's making sure you have the right support? I know with my eldest 3 I lied through my teeth but this time I do have support and its alot different.

Kinda agree with midwives visiting I, I was so sad when it was the handover period

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